Nostalgia

I am feeling nostalgic today. I found some music on itunes that I haven't listened to since I was 18. My first boyfriend gave me the "tape" and it makes me think of him and wonder how he is doing. It's the Neil Diamond cd of "the best years of out lives"

Is is bad to listen to music that brings back memories of someone else? I don't think so. I have no idea where he even is but I think he has 3 kids and used to live in Logan. Maybe still does.

He was the first boy I truly loved. I have only really loved 2 other boys beside Bry. Stephen was the first and he was trying to decide if he wanted to go an a mission. I really wanted him to go but when he came home, it was different. We both felt it. Sad.

I do still wonder how they are. Are they happy? Are they married still? I have met both their wives and kids but it was a long time ago.

The second boy was Jared. I met him on my mission. He was my zone leader and then my AP. Of course we never "did" anything about our feelings but he was one of my best friends there and when we came home, we dated. I really loved him and he was wonderful. Something just didn't feel right. We went to the temple to pray about it and I got an answer. It was terrible and painful and lonely. Jared wouldn't and couldn't talk to me anymore. I really broke his heart. To be honest, I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't followed those feelings with these 2 choice men. How would my life be different if I had married one of them instead of Bry.

I love being married to Bryan. He is a perfect match for me but I could have married either of those others and they would have made great husbands and fathers too.

Do you ever wonder if there are parallel universes where we did make those other choices? Have you ever read the book "One" by Richard Bach? That is what the story is about. Very interesting.

Anyways, I'm being too nostalgic. I better go!