Thursday, June 29, 2006

A good book

I LOVE to read. I have been an avid reader ever since Jr high when I found out that Tom Sawer really was a good story.

I have gone through many phases. The first one was romance novels. This is the one I probably should not have started with in my teenage years. I became obsessed with the lurid details! But it was what was available from my parents stash at the time!

I loved historical novels which I still love to read.

After I was married I went through the "horror" stage. I read all the "vampire" novels by.....oh, I can't think of her name but I have read all her books. I read all of Stephen Kings. His earliest novels are the best. I really liked those but his newer ones have alot of swearing. They aren't as bad as some people think they are.

I really love the LDS historical novels. I have learned so much about our colorful history, from early black mormons to different takes on the Mountain Meadow masacre. I love all the LDS Series books out there. I love the spirit I feel when I read them. It's a little different than Stephen King! One of my favorites was the Tennis Shoes among the Nephites. Love 'em!

I also love the classics. My husband turned me on to them. Oh, sure, I had read a few before he came along but I would never have read "All quiet on the western front" without him. I also loved "the Yearling" and "The Good Earth" alot.

There is so much out there to experience and learn from. It is a fountain that keeps going without end. In the scriptures, Heavenly Father tell us to learn as much as we can here about the earth, science and life. It is one command I take to whole heartedly! Just be a careful judge of what you put in there. I have found the Holy Ghost is a good detector of garbage if you are in the right spirit!

You may ask how I find the time to read. Well, I do it instead of the dishes and laundry! I do it instead of TV. and there is no better way to spend time than soaking in a hot tub with a good book! Don't drop it though! The book mobil man frowns on that! Happy Reading!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

What is the worst thing in the world a woman can possibly go through? Stumped? Well, I experienced it today. I went shopping for a swim suit! I tried on like 15 of those little beauties! I wondered what people would think if I just went out naked to get more to choose from! I hate having to get completely dressed to do that!

Anyway, trying to find one that fits the hips AND the boobs is nearly impossible! If it fits the hips, it is huge up top. The tankinis are really cute until that little roll of fat around my belly spills out over the bottoms! It really was hard not to bust up laughing in the dressing room. Of course, I can't complain too much, I do look better this year than last!

I finally ended up with a really cute tankini that I also bought a skirt bottom to go with. No, I will NOT be modeling it, nor posting it for all you friends to see! I do have my pride after all!!

Change of subject. I talked to my sister T this morning about what I blogged about before. She does not believe in the gospel but is very spiritual. She basically layed it out straight. She told me that the reason I was feeling so bad is because I had separated myself from God. If a person has the spirit and is in tune with Him, they will not care about that other stuff because they will be filled with the spirit! I sat there will my mouth hanging open. Sometimes she really surprises me. I am so used to us believing differently. Ever since that conversation, I have felt so much better about it. In fact that scripture came to mind that says, "Charity suffereth long and is kind, is not puffed up, seeketh not her own,(which means, is not cliquish). Anyway, it made me realize that I was not feeling charity and it totally changed my outlook. The pure love of Christ has no judgements and it is not my place to judge these other women.

I believe I was given this experience to teach me this lesson. I believe all that we go through is to teach us something. I is our job to recognize what that lesson is and to learn from it. I believe the one and only reason we are here is to learn to love eachother. It's the hardest lesson there is. We always want to blame someone else for our circumstances. I heard a thought once that says "You are in life, exactly where you want to be." It's very profound if you think about it.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

I seem to have more time on my hands lately and have more desire to be on my computer. Maybe the high speed makes the difference! I was talking to my sister tonight and she is the only one of my brothers or sisters that has my blog address. (out of 9). Sometimes, I don't know if I like that!

I kind of like the anonymity (sp?). My other sister called and wanted the address because she wants to "know me better too". I guess I said something about how I didn't want anyone else to have it! I don't remember saying that but I do have a history of being a space cadet after all!!

Well, the one sis who does read this is not sure about how she feels having her picture on here. I should have asked first I admit. I, as well as anyone knows there are some real idiots out there so if any of you are reading this (and I am sure you know who you are), don't come after me or mine! Because this is an LDS website, I tend to have more trust than I probably should. What do you all out there think? Am I going too crazy with the pictures? I just know that I LOVE it when you all post pictures. I hope it is never anything I will live to regret.

Change of subject. Do any of you out there ever feel lonely in your wards? There are tons of young moms like me with young kids here and yet I don't feel like I fit in with any of them. I have tried to have close friendships and it always seems one sided. I wasn't even going to write about this because I didn't want to look pathetic! But, it is bothering me lately. It makes me very grateful to Lisa. We live pretty close to eachother and she has been a true friend. This feeling though is almost like high school. There is one gal in my ward who talks about all the fun stuff she does with the other gals in the ward (that I am never invited to) almost like she wants to prove how "popular" she is. She did used to be a cheerleader. Does that make any difference? The really hard part is that she is my visiting teaching partner! The more we are together, the less I like her! It that bad or what! It just feels too much like high school. Maybe it is all in my head but it frusterates me! I would never say the things she says to me to her! I would never tell someone about a really fun neighborhood party I was putting on right in front of someone who was not invited! HELLO!

You see, I live on the highway. She lives in the "new" neighborhood, kiddie corner from me, where all the houses are about $550,000. It used to be a beautiful field. Now I know I am complaining alot here and the new families are very nice and I like them all alot, they are just very exclusive sometimes and those of us who are across the street feel left out. At least I do. OK, So that does sound pathetic. I should go to bed. I need a stiff drink. Maybe I'll go in the kitchen and get me a nice diet, caffeine free pepsi. On the rocks.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Serenity

I was sitting here after just reading my patriarchal blessing and I have this feeling that I can't desribe at the moment. I thought about how serene I was feeling. It made me think of all the things I find that make me fill this way. One of the things is our animals. Our little filly was born last summer. she is so sweet and we lover her so much. There is something about babies
that makes me melt.










Duke is the other pet I adore and feel peace around. He is the light one. He makes me feel safe and comforted. Wierd how dogs can do that.










The next thing I love is a sunset. Both of these pictures were taken from my back porch. Can you see why I love where I live. I get to see God's magisty every time I step outside. I feel loved and watched over when I see a sky like this. Who could possible doubt the existance of God in a world like this?














Serenity, for me is found in my children's faces. I took these up camping and when I look at them, I can remember how much I love them. After a day like today, I really need that! Sometimes I forget who they really are and that they have been intrusted to me for safe keeping. Am I keeping them the way HF wants me too? I am really trying.


This is the baby we adopted this past winter. He is adorable and I know he is supposed to be with us. Sometimes I still struggle with our bonding but I know he is a very special and power (if I may say that) spirit. He is so happy in the midst of the struggle that has gone on in his like just to get him to where he is. I stand in awe at his spirit and am humbled that he was given to me. Many days I do not feel worthy of such a gift and stuggle with deserving the blessing I have in him.


My little missy here is a strenth in serentiy that I will forever cherish. There is something about her that makes me weep. She is "one" with the animals in a way I only dream of. when I am sad she comes up to me and says "you're smiling! I can see it" in this cute little voice that always makes me laugh! I cannot resist her beautiful little self! I would eat her up if I could!






This is my right hand man! I could not live without this boy. He is my oldest and the one I most depend on. My hubby is pretty much never home and I don't think I would be sane without this one. Talk about serene. It was a hard day for me and he came in and asked if he could make me cookies. Only an idiot would say no to that beautiful face. The cookies turned out great, He fed all the animals so I could soak in the tub and read a good book and got all the kid's jammies on for me! Heaven sent! He does cause his share of troubles. Don't get me wrong, but dang! Is he a mean cook!

So for the long and short of serenity. It is whatever brings your spirit peace, whatever calms your temper, it is what ever fills you with the spirit of love and patience. These are the things in my life that make it richer. May you be able to see the blessings in your life today. Love, Me

Monday, June 19, 2006

Sleep, sleep, wonderful sleep!

How I wish I could sleep like this! I have started staying up late at night and yet my kids still wake up early. My husband actually wakes up earlier than they do and so I feel like from 5 am on I get these little cat naps that just don't cut it!

Sleep is SO underrated! I am one of those that need 8 to 9 hours. I know that sounds impossible but I have done it before! I know it's possible!

Going to sleep is like going to the movies for free every night! I have wonderful dreams that I can remember!.




I love my king siz bed! We used to have a queen but I will never go back! This bed is just right just for me! I let B have about a foot or so to be nice though.

I found this bed is the classifides. It was only $350.00. The guy who makes them sells them to retailers in Utah and California who sells them for a thousand bucks and when he has a surplus, he sells them to the regular folk for his price! How wonderful some people are! It has a foot board that matches the headboard but you can't see it here.




The animal kingdom has it about right. what animal does not just lay down and sleep when they are tired? Why don't we do that in America? In Venezuela, where I went on a mission, EVERY establishment closes for 2 hours in the middle of the day for rest time! HELLO! No wonder they are such happy people!

This is my dog Duke, and his babies Sally and I don't remember the other's name! He was a stray that adopted us! We have two other cats besides these two. They stay outside which I like! Duke is my sweet heart! He is 9 now and is basically everyone's mommy out on our little farm! Anyway, To all of you out there who don't get enough sleep....

May your head rest easy tonight. May your dreams be sweet and relaxing. May your bed be soft and compfy, and may you be blessed with the ability to sleep in once in a while!

Good night, my friends.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

The Sabbath Day

I want to share how I feel today. I woke up in a very bad mood. My hubby and I had a disagreement yesterday that has really bothered me. My sister and her husband are building a new house and B is doing the plumbing on it. (he's a plumbing contractor, you see) Well, He worked on the sub rough yesterday and we were all there letting the kids play in the dirt and it was really fun. At the end of the day, he informed me that he was coming back tomarrow, on Father's day mind you, to finish some little thing.

Now, I am not perfect by any margine, but I always try to do what is right. It is sometimes a challenge where "keeping the sabbath day holy" is concerned. His ideas are different from mine. He wasn't raised in the church and sometimes I wonder what the crap is going on in his mind now that he is a member. I told him I did not want him to work on Sunday and that he had promised me a long time ago he wouldn't any more. I didn't want to argue about it in front of my sister so we went home irritated at eachother.

I got up feeling that he has the right to choose as he wants to but I am the mother of my family and my children are my priority when it comes to doing what is right. I told them that we are not going to go back to my sister's house today, (which they we upset at) because when I take the sacrament, I make 3 promises over and over every week. I asked my kids what those were. My 10 year said "to always go to church?" I told him, "no". I promise to take Jesus' name on me and explained what that means. Then I said I promise to try to always choose to do what He would do. Would he go work on a house on Sunday? Especially when it is not an emergency? Then I exlained how I promise to keep his commandments, which is where keeping the Sabbath holy comes in to play.

I am not perfect. I make lots of mistakes. The one mistake I WILL NOT MAKE is for my kids to think I am a fence sitter or that I am wishy washy. I know the gospel is true. I love it. I soak in it. My prayers are frequently answered immediately because I have worked so hard to get to that point. I have had so many experiences that leave me no room to doubt. I know Christ lives and that he is our Saviour. He's not just some great man who taught valuable lessons. I am devoted to him and I want to show him that I feel that way.

I know am one of the only ones in my family who feel this way. I am frequently teased or argued with when the subject comes up with all my brothers and sisters. (there are 9 of us). They don't get how I feel and there is No way to explain or describe it. Sometimes I feel very alone and lonely when I am with my big family. I wish my mom were here. I know she would revel in the gospel with me. I guess she still can. I just can see her do it! Anyway, a testimony has to come from inside. A person has to yearn and desire for a testimony and work for it and alot of people don't want to .

Anyway, After B and I got home, we never discussed it. I figured I would deal with it if it came up. It didn't. We are enjoyeing a nice Father's day. Although I sure wish B would just feel like I do. I get tired of being the teacher sometimes. I wish B would have a stronger testimony. I wish he had the desire for a stronger one. But everyone in their own time I guess. It i so hard to be patient! I am very blessed though because he is a great man who loves me unconditionally.

May the Lord belss your Father's Day.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

sisters

This is my favorite picture. I have it as my desktop picture. This was at the MGM Grand the night we went to see "Ka" Can you tell which one is me? I don't know how to get my pictures where I want them but I want you all to know that these gals are my favorite people in the world. My sisters are the best! I love them all dearly. Even though we are all very different, I thank God every day for them. They love me no matter what.



Have any of you been here? It is my favorite shop in Las Vegas! they stuff pouring behind me is chocolate! Lucious, beautiful chocolate! Now that I can do pictures, I thought I'd show you some of my favorites from my sister's weekend we had!

I can't remember the name of this casino. It's on the tip of my tongue but I can't get it. It has the beautiful fountain in front and is very fancy. Loved it

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

new news

OH MY WORD!!!!!!!! I just had comcast high speed internet installed. Need I say more? Yes, it is a little pricy, but DANG! I love how fast I Zoom, zooom, zooom all over the place! I am loving it. There is such a HUGE difference! Now I will be able to put pictures on (once I learn how). I am so computer inept! The cable guy who came was very nice, just kept rolling his eyes at my lack of knowledge. He was pretty funny!

I can't wait to pay my bills! I can't wait to surf, to download to just sit here going from page to page! For all of you out there who know the feeling, I am no longer a high speed virgin! It feels great!

Well, life is great, I still don't feel like making dinner after thinking about it all day, so thank heavens I have this great man who will bring it home. Do you think he will bring anything that will keep the weight off my hips? I got my weight watcher books out and decided to keep track because I seem to be at a hump in losing weight and I have found that I eat pretty healthy but that I eat alot healthy! The problem is, I want to be thin and athletic and healthy but I LOVE food! I love eating! I love the tastes, the smells, the sights! Now I am not bad over weight, I am actually 150lbs. But I want to be between 135 and 140. Why am I so concerned? I don't know. Can't figure that one out. I guess it all comes down to instinct. Survival of the fittest. Maybe somewhere deep down, I feel that to get the man, I have to look better than all the other females out there! Yes, we are back to caveman mentality! Who knows. It could be true on some basic, subconscious level!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Our Town

Yea!! It IS Free Friday once again. Of course, it's not free for me! To be honest, I have nothing exciting or deep to write about today. Nothing to cause controversy or depate about. I think that is nice though.

It's raining outside and so beautiful. Some gals in my ward go running 3 times a week and invited me to come along. It was so hard to get out of bed, but I managed and I am so glad I did. I usually just run on my treadmill.

I was worried at first because they started out a little faster than I am used to but it felt good to push a little. There were quite a few hills that nearly killed us but we are all pretty much at the same level and that is nice. I was worried that I would feel frusterated if they were slower or that I would hold them back. It was a great workout and it started sprinkling at the end. SO Beautiful. We are going to run the 4th of July 5k. I can't wait! I love that race.

In my town, the 4th is a wonderful day! I never leave to go anywhere else. I live in a small town and everyone knows eachother. The night before is a big bar-b-q at the park with a movie. The 4th starts with the 5k, a flag cerimony, breakfast at the firestation, and parade. Then at the park there is fishing for the kids (with their hands). That is so fun. Pie eating contest (which Lisa and I did last year, or 2 years ago. I forget) Helicopter rides and contests etc. Now, that may not sound that big, but I am telling you, Our town is so small that the post office doesn't even deliver mail! I love it that way. It is growing and some great people are moving in but at the same time, I don't want it to grow. I moved here because I like it small! But the gals I ran with are all from new houses so I guess it is a good trade!!! In the evening are the best and longest fireworks I have ever been to. It really is incredible. I know people who drive over an hour to come to these fireworks because they are so good.

I LOVE our town. I love the people. I love the home grown atmosphere and how safe it feels. I love the mountains in front of me and fields and fields behind me. I love that I see tractors and combines driving down the hwy on a daily basis. I love the smell of fresh cut alphalpha. I would buy that in a perfume if they made it! I am so happy here where I live.

Monday, June 05, 2006

It's Summer!!!

Yea! It is the first official day of summer here at our house! School got out on Friday and I love it! Today we are going to see "Over the hedge" with some friends and then to their house to play in a little pool.

I am sorry I have been so down lately. It bothers me and I know as well as anyone that people don't want to listen to your problems all the time. I have terrible PMS and I always have. Once it is over, I feel great again but life seems so bleak when I am going through it.

I love the feeling of freedom I feel this time of year. I love having the kids around although I am always ready for them to go to school in the fall!!!

This summer I want to plan fun things to do and at my house, we keep a schedual. All chores need to be done by 11:00am unless we are going somewhere earlier and then we can play all day. That includes their family jobs (they each have 2) their rooms clean, they are dressed and have eaten and the piano is practiced. Plus we will have reading time each day which seems easier to get done than in the school year.

I got up and did 30 minutes of speed walking today which felt good. I haven't run for 2 weeks. I was in so much pain I just coulnd't keep it up. My shins and ankles were killing me. It's the same old thing. The sacrum goes out of alignment and everything else starts to hurt too. The chiropracter suggested speed walking and I wasn't too excited about it but it was actually good. I still have pretty good endurance after 2 weeks but I was sick the whole weekend and that takes alot out of you.

It looks like all the kids are all better too. Everyone had taken turns with this flu thing and now, we are starting off the summer feeling good! If anyone has any fun ideas for summer fun, let me know. I live in northern Utah so I prefer not to drive too far away! We can't afford the gas anyway!

I have decided to grow my hair out again. I wonder if that will really happen, but I am ready for a change. Hope you all have a fabulous day!

It's Summer!!!

Yea! It is the first official day of summer here at our house! School got out on Friday and I love it! Today we are going to see "Over the hedge" with some friends and then to their house to play in a little pool.

I am sorry I have been so down lately. It bothers me and I know as well as anyone that people don't want to listen to your problems all the time. I have terrible PMS and I always have. Once it is over, I feel great again but life seems so bleak when I am going through it.

I love the feeling of freedom I feel this time of year. I love having the kids around although I am always ready for them to go to school in the fall!!!

This summer I want to plan fun things to do and at my house, we keep a schedual. All chores need to be done by 11:00am unless we are going somewhere earlier and then we can play all day. That includes their family jobs (they each have 2) their rooms clean, they are dressed and have eaten and the piano is practiced. Plus we will have reading time each day which seems easier to get done than in the school year.

I got up and did 30 minutes of speed walking today which felt good. I haven't run for 2 weeks. I was in so much pain I just coulnd't keep it up. My shins and ankles were killing me. It's the same old thing. The sacrum goes out of alignment and everything else starts to hurt too. The chiropracter suggested speed walking and I wasn't too excited about it but it was actually good. I still have pretty good endurance after 2 weeks but I was sick the whole weekend and that takes alot out of you.

It looks like all the kids are all better too. Everyone had taken turns with this flu thing and now, we are starting off the summer feeling good! If anyone has any fun ideas for summer fun, let me know. I live in northern Utah so I prefer not to drive too far away! We can't afford the gas anyway!

I have decided to grow my hair out again. I wonder if that will really happen, but I am ready for a change. Hope you all have a fabulous day!