Sunday, January 31, 2010

Destiny?

It's Sunday morning. My gospel doctrine lesson is ready, my kids are dressed for church and everyone is happily getting along. I love church at eleven. It gives me time.

My goal is to write on this blog more often. This blog is for my random, everyday normal life. My other is mainly geared toward writing. I have debated just using one but on the other hand, I like having them separate.

So today, I want to chat a little about destiny. Are we destined to do certain things? I believe that sometimes we are. I think there are great leaders who were destined to lead and great scientists destined to discover great things. I can see God's hand in everything. But then, as humans, we gloriously screw it up.

Take the internet, for example. So much good is accomplished there, yet there are so many smutty people out there polluting it for their gain. Television is another. So many good things learned there, yet so many bad too. We have to be wise. We have to have smarts.

So, back to destiny. Am I destined to be a writer? Will I become rich and famous? I don't know about the rich and famous part, but I believe deep down in my gut that I was meant to write. It's the first job I've ever had that I absolutely love. I've had to dig deep and learn fast and it hasn't all been great, but so worth the ride.

I remember my first edited manuscript. I cried for a week. I almost gave up, thinking that I'd never get it, that I'd never get my own ideas and quit copying others, that I'd never learn all the stupid rules. But practice makes perfect. I got better with every word I wrote.

It's funny how we often look at someone else and think, "They do it so well. I'll never be that good." Why do they do it so well? Because they have spent HOURS upon HOURS practicing! What makes a virtuoso pianist? Hours of practice. What makes a great artist? Hours of practice. What makes a great writer? HOURS OF PRACTICE.

Now, some are born with a gift. Yeah for them. For the rest of us, and even for them, it takes time, dedication, hope, and practice. Yep folks. I believe in destiny, but I also believe that if you want something bad enough, you can have it. You don't have to be born with some fabulous talent or be a child prodigy. It just takes practice. If you want something, get your butt out there and practice!

Keep your hopes and dreams alive. You are the only one who can!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Loving What Is

I'm reading a new book called "Loving what is." Ever read it? My sister has it and talked about how much it has affected her in every aspect of her life. She's right. It's an incredible book with amazing insight.

I look at problems in a whole new way. It helps you to live in the present and let go of those things that hold you back and make you miserable. Anyway, I just thought I'd pass the title along. It's one of those books that can really impact the way you think about everything. Check it out.

Monday, January 25, 2010

A dream come true

Today, for the first time in fourteen years, I bought a pair of size 10 jeans. Not only did I just buy them, but they actually fit too! Since my first child was born, I've worn size 14.

Last fall, I went shopping with my sisters and all the size 14 jeans were too tight. I cried. I didn't want to go bigger. I felt hopeless as I'd tried every other diet out there with no lasting results. It wasn't that I wasn't willing to try, it was that nothing worked.

Then I heard about the hcg diet. I tried it. I've just finished my second stint and so far, I've lost 27 pounds. That may not seem like much, but it was a lot to me. To me, it's huge. I come from a family of skinny people and for many years, I was the fattest one. Not that I compared myself, but, well, you know, I did.

So, now I am down to 148. Most people would not admit all this but I want to give hope to those out there who are struggling. There is a way. It works. I have developed great eating habits and I feel wonderful. And let me just say, pulling on those size 10 jeans was just plain orgasmic. All I have to say is . . . YOU GO GIRL!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Hope for the future

It sure has been a while. I've been neglecting this blog as I usually write tidbits of my normal life on facebook. But today, I've spent time reflecting. Many of you know that my five year old, Gabe has reactive/attachment disorder. It's tough to deal with. Some days, I feel like I'm drowning.

The constant destuction of things, lying and contention wear me down. It's a cycle that is very hard to get out of. I finally called our medicade guy who is in charge of Gabe, begging for help. He gave me the name of a therapist who uses alternative therapies and Medicaid will actually pay for it! It's a miracle! You see, when you adopt a child from the foster care system, they get Medicaid insurance until they're 18. It sure helps. Anyway, our first appoint was last Monday to set up an assessment and the first official appointment is this coming Wednesday.

We've tried traditional therapy and it just doesn't work. Sorry, you traditional therapists out there. Some things need to be healed in a different way.

If you want to know more about this new therapy, you can check out this website-- www.eeg.com. Hope it works. I'm at my wits end. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks to all for your continued support.