Thursday, June 22, 2006

I seem to have more time on my hands lately and have more desire to be on my computer. Maybe the high speed makes the difference! I was talking to my sister tonight and she is the only one of my brothers or sisters that has my blog address. (out of 9). Sometimes, I don't know if I like that!

I kind of like the anonymity (sp?). My other sister called and wanted the address because she wants to "know me better too". I guess I said something about how I didn't want anyone else to have it! I don't remember saying that but I do have a history of being a space cadet after all!!

Well, the one sis who does read this is not sure about how she feels having her picture on here. I should have asked first I admit. I, as well as anyone knows there are some real idiots out there so if any of you are reading this (and I am sure you know who you are), don't come after me or mine! Because this is an LDS website, I tend to have more trust than I probably should. What do you all out there think? Am I going too crazy with the pictures? I just know that I LOVE it when you all post pictures. I hope it is never anything I will live to regret.

Change of subject. Do any of you out there ever feel lonely in your wards? There are tons of young moms like me with young kids here and yet I don't feel like I fit in with any of them. I have tried to have close friendships and it always seems one sided. I wasn't even going to write about this because I didn't want to look pathetic! But, it is bothering me lately. It makes me very grateful to Lisa. We live pretty close to eachother and she has been a true friend. This feeling though is almost like high school. There is one gal in my ward who talks about all the fun stuff she does with the other gals in the ward (that I am never invited to) almost like she wants to prove how "popular" she is. She did used to be a cheerleader. Does that make any difference? The really hard part is that she is my visiting teaching partner! The more we are together, the less I like her! It that bad or what! It just feels too much like high school. Maybe it is all in my head but it frusterates me! I would never say the things she says to me to her! I would never tell someone about a really fun neighborhood party I was putting on right in front of someone who was not invited! HELLO!

You see, I live on the highway. She lives in the "new" neighborhood, kiddie corner from me, where all the houses are about $550,000. It used to be a beautiful field. Now I know I am complaining alot here and the new families are very nice and I like them all alot, they are just very exclusive sometimes and those of us who are across the street feel left out. At least I do. OK, So that does sound pathetic. I should go to bed. I need a stiff drink. Maybe I'll go in the kitchen and get me a nice diet, caffeine free pepsi. On the rocks.


Anonymous said...

Hey Melissa, what a great story about feeling like blogging is fun because it allows you to explore yourself a bit more ... but I completely agree that is so much better to NOT have your friends and relatives reading it. My wife has not yet read my blog ... it is only about cooking and passion but I would like it to remain mine to hide for the moment.

And as far as the people living in the expensive houses I could not agree more. My wife and I just sold from one of those neighborhoods ... everyone wanted to know why? I think it was because we always felt out of place like we were too friendly or that we needed to be more snobby to live in that neighborhood.

Well I am sorry to have crashed into your blog and stuck in my two cents but I loved what you were saying. In honor of my "hidden" identy I will sign this note as anonymous rather than reveal who I am.

Don't you just want to know if you know me?

melissa c said...

Yes! I do ! But it sure is nice to know there are others out there who feel as I do. Sometimes I wonder if I am just imagining it or being too sensitive. Thank you so much for your comments! Come around any time!

momyblogR said...

I lost my anonymity some time ago and it does sorta make me censor what I write. As far as the pictures go...I don't know, I post everything, lol. There are real idiots out there I agree, but there are idiots in my supermarkets too.

Ok, YOU are not the pathetic one....your little cheerleader neighbor is. People like that just bring me to the edge. It really bothers me that I get like that but I just can't take the whole "I'm SO much better than you" attitude because of where they live, what they drive or wear. I just want to scream...."I DON'T CARE and don't see why you do so much." Shallow and pathetic, that's why.

Man, I didn't mean to get on a rip..sorry!

Amy said...

Hi Melissa, I got your blog link from Lisa's blog and have been quitely reading for awhile. Your blog really struck home because I have recently gone back to church after 17 years and have really struggled with the "cliques". We are in a new ward and my 12 year old has struggled also. It is good to know it is not just me. I think it has been part of my reluctance to go back.

LammyAnn said...

Girl... as you can plainly see.. you aren't the only one.
The military has much ta-do about money--- Officer's and Enlisted... and wives LOVE to wear their husband's rank...
Who gives a fig???
I get irritated by those types...

AND WHAT IS THE DEALIO with your "friend" babbling about the things you aren't invited to???
Bad form.
I'm with MommyBlogR...
She Sucks. (Guess that isn't very Christlike--but it makes me mad.)

As for the picture thing... I don't care either. I've been doing it for years, have no problem wiht it. Course, I never give out full names and places... but I doubt people would care anyway.

Maren said...

I didn't realize some in-law family members had been reading my blog until I said something about one of them and it came back to me. Oops. I am much more careful now, because I never know. Somehow word has gotten out that I have a blog and every once in a while I will hear that some friend I haven't seen in a couple of years has been reading (of course they never comment). It makes me realize what an open forum the internet is.

But on the other hand, I never worry about the pictures. I might be too trusting. I don't know. I love pictures and I love to post them, so I do.

I know what you mean about being lonely at church. My husband and I have both been through that. I wonder why that is. It seems to be more common than you would think.

Yolanda said...

Let's be "new best friends." Move down south a little, and we can go to the same ward, and hang out, and have so much fun people will always be wondering what we are up to!

just a thought (smile)