Monday, March 26, 2007

I just had an interesting experience. I young guy from Turkey just tried to pick me up on "skype". I was just sitting here working, and my skype came up and this guy is trying to get me to answer and I just ignore him. I even decline twice to talk to him and finally, I give up and say, I am a married woman with 4 kids, 4 horses, 3 dogs, 3 cats and 20 chickens. Do you still want to talk? I thought that would put a damper on things. It didn't. He still wanted to chat. I chatted for a few minutes because it was a boon to my self esteem but he is only 25, can hardly speak English but thinks I have beautiful eyes.

Anyway, he wants me to put him on my contact list. How weird. Some people are so lonely. It's too bad that they have to reach out on the computer. Or maybe it's a good thing for those people who are shy. Who am I to judge?

I went to a wedding shower this weekend with about 50 women who were all my age but mostly single. I'm sure most have happy lives but a piece of me felt bad for them that they have not been able to experience kids and a wonderful man and some never will in this life. What did I ever do to get the perfect picture? My life is pretty much just what I wanted. Why do I have the dream come true but most people in the world don't? It makes me sad to think about and yet I feel so blessed too.

I don't have a perfect life and the people in my life drive me crazy at times and I am sure I do the same for them, yet, I wouldn't change a thing.

We are all on a different path. At a different level of learning. I love people and I love that we are all different but I do love living around people who believe like I do. I love "my people". I know a lot of people who don't have much good to say about "Mormons" but I have to say. I love em! We are not a perfect people as a whole, but I do believe that we are trying to be. At least on my part, I am. I know I fall short and am not always a good example of what I should be, but I love the gospel and I know it's true.

My family does not like it when I say "I know" about things. Why can't I know? Why should I water it down? I was sitting in church yesterday thinking about that. I never say anything that is concrete in my mind around my family because it usually gets shot down. The older I get though, the less I care about that. My new goal is to be unafraid to talk about what I feel is right or true.

Life is beautiful. It really is.


Yolanda said...

Welcome to your new found "freedom of speech!" I would MUCH rather talk to someone who is honest, and opinionated, than one who doesn't say anything for fear of opposition...Even if the other person's views I don't agree with, I STILL enjoy the brutal, up-front, honesty of their opinion.

I feel that "Silence is condoning" what is happening around you...Always have the courage to speak your mind!!

Lisa M. said...

Oh she always speaks her mind.

And so do I, especially when I am putting my foot in my mouth, like I did with her mother in law the other day.

And here is your Turkey friend, not even knowing what a full blown hottie you are.

Ah, neat.


Charlotte said...

50 people huh?

Then how come I only got about 20 presents?? Someone's holding out on me!

(Only teasing, my little exaggerating friend. I exaggerate as well, as you well know).

For many many years I thought that I may not experience kids or a wonderful man in this life. (I'm still not sure exactly how the whole kids thing is going to work out). I cried buckets of tears over it, on many different occasions.

But, you make peace with the life that you are given, and the path that you are inspired to follow. God makes it all right in the end, and that makes it possible to have peace and joy and good good times in the middle, while you wait for the dreams of your heart to come true.

So, don't feel bad for those single women. They don't want you to feel bad for them, any more than you want people to feel bad for you because of your birth defects or whatever other differences you have from "the norm" (whatever THAT is).

It was GREAT to see you on Saturday. Thanks for coming up.

melissa c said...

You know Charlotte, that is a very good point. We do all have challenges that we deal with. That one seems to be a particularly lonely one though.

You are NOT too old to have a nice sized family. All the famous actors START at your age. You will be fine.

Some might say that if they could see the future that they may rather stay single! May be it is a blessing that they don't know about!