good mother vs. bad mother

I wonder. What makes a bad mother? I don't feel like a bad mother but I feel bad today.

My 13 year old son called me from school, claiming he was sick. Last year, his claiming to be sick caused a few arguments. It always ended up that he wasn't really that sick at all. He would stay home or come home early and have remarkable recoveries.

He struggles in some of his classes and can't afford to miss school. I told him I wouldn't come get him. In the most loving way I could, I told him that I just don't trust him as he has lied to me lately and been found out. He lied about being sick last year, quite a few times, and unless he is throwing up or has a fever, he gets to stay.

Now I do wonder if there is something else going on that makes him want to come home. Something else that is making him feel bad. I did ask about this and he said there was nothing going on.

He called a little bit later, but still before lunch and said that he had thrown up. I told him I didn't believe him and that he just had to suck it up and stay in school. I didn't want him to miss what his teachers were teaching.

He hung up on me. I should have been offended about this but honestly, I wasn't. I understand his frustration. I hated school. I never sluffed but I wanted to. As a child, I pretended to be sick all the time to stay home. I know how to make myself sick, how to appear sick, how to get people to feel for me. I've been there. But I want to teach my son something I had to learn as an adult and that is...you have to be accountable. You have to sometimes do things that are hard or undesirable. You have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and be brave.

Now, I could be wrong. He may really be sick. If so, I'll eat crow.

Happy anniversary

Happy anniversary to me! I just realized I started blogging in September of 2005. It has officially been three years! Man, how time flies! I just can't believe it!

I want all my blogger friends out there to know how much I love you all! You have all been great. Especially during the hard times. It is so nice to sit down to my trusty computer and pour out my feelings to you all.

There are times when I think I shouldn't be so open, so revealing, but that is who I am. I can't keep apologizing for who I am, right? Hopefully my honesty can help someone else. I do admit thought, that I love it when you are all open. It is so nice to hear how you are really feeling and to know what is really going on in your lives. Good or bad.

I have friends that tell me things that are going on in their lives that are so interesting and I say, "You should blog about this!" But they don't. They don't want people to know. Sad I think.

Anyway, I love you all. Thank you so much for the support, love and friendship!

Here's to another fabulous year! Cheers!

I took my last post off but I did get some great comments from Jeri. It just took up so much room. If you are interested in reading the beginning of my next book, let me know and I can email it.

So, I finally remembered to take my camera to one of Jake's soccer games so I wanted to post some cute pictures of him playing. I guess this means I am officially a soccer mom now! he he

Fairest

I just read the book "Fairest". It was an adorable story. I love stories that make you feel good. At the beginning, I almost put it down. I don't love the fantasy books that have tons of unusual names you have to wade through. This book had some, but not tons.

I was able to get into it a few pages in and really enjoyed it. It's a great book for teen girls. Especially those who don't feel pretty. (Which is all of us at one time or another).

Anyway, I love reading kids books. It gives me an idea of what my kids are reading. I don't think my boys will read this "girly" book but who knows? I read and write stories about boys. Why couldn't boys read stories about girls. All I have to say it boys are weird! Will we ever understand them?

Yesterday we blessed Gabe and Wyatt. It was WONDERFUL!!!! The whole day was fabulous! But, did I remember to take one picture????? I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!!!

I just didn't remember in the rush of the day and no one else did either. How terrible! I am heartsick! But it was beautiful and SO fun to have all our close friends over.

We had a big dinner after and some of our friends stayed later and it was great to catch up!

I had forgotten how fun it is to have friends over. I like my privacy and the older I get, the more I like to be alone but it reminded me how fun it can be.

So there it is!

Hey there!

Here I sit on a Saturday afternoon. I should be cleaning my house as the whole fandamly is coming tomorrow for Wyatt's blessing.

But true to nature, I sit here at my old friend, the computer. I love to browse your blogs and read about my friends. Although today, there aren't any new posts to read. ARGGG!

I would like you all to know that I finished self editing my book. I printed a copy and will have the kids and Bry give it a read through.

I got on line looking for writers conferences and of course, they were all last week! I hate that. Oh well, timing is everything.

So I will just say hi, get off this dang computer and get back to work!

Oh, by the way, I bought an ergonomically correct chair or kneeling chair. I'll let you know what I think.

Dang!

My adorable little Shi Tzus is pregnant. I am not happy about it. The father is one of the ugliest, worst mannered sheep dogs I have EVER seen. He is our next door neighbor's dog and truly, I hate him.

I know that hate is a strong word but let me tell you. He is so irritating and they don't even try to train him.

As soon as I pull in my driveway, he runs for the fence that separates our yards like he's a Rottweiler on the kill. He barks and snarls and torments my goldens to the point where Duke has a pulled muscle and can hardly walk anymore. (Duke is getting pretty old and just can't run).

They chase each other up and down the fence line snarling and trying to hurt each other. They have actually latched on to one another before through the fence. THey are so stupid. I do believe it is my dog who wins though. he he (Not that I condone this behavior)

They are not fenced in to their yards either. My dogs could leave anytime and never do. They are so good, obedient and well behaved. *smile* The neighbors dog never leaves his yard either. (unless he has a reason like Cookie, I guess) and did only to mate with her while she was out there unsupervised, doing her duty. So it is my own fault but I refuse to admit that out loud!

I'm not sure when she is due but it is coming soon as she is pretty Roley poly now!

Oh well. They will probably turn out adorable just to spite me!

Dooms Day

I have to say, I'm mad as hell at the way the government is spending our money! On the other hand, I do think they did the right thing in saving AIG.

I wish they wouldn't use our money or money we don't have but to avoid a scare similar to the one before the Great Depression, it needs to be done.

I had a discussion with Bry this morning. I told him that our "nest egg" wasn't earning enough interest in the bank anyway and that I wanted it out of there!

He, of course, is the level headed one in our relationship and says no. If everyone got scared and took their money out of the banks, they would all fail, guaranteed. That is was happened in the past. Everyone got scared.

Well, I AM scared. Our money will be worth nothing soon. All our American grain is promised to other countries and we (the US) owe money out the ying yang. How will we feed our country if this continues?

I ask myself, "Do we have a good enough food storage?" Nope. But my new goal is to get it in order. NOW. I am going to use some of our nest egg and build our food storage. What else will that money be good for if we don't use it now? he he

I hate to be a dooms day-er but my Dad and his wife were just here. They are the ultimate conspiracy theorists, (no offense Dad) but what they say is all fact too. You can look it up on the Internet. It's scary. Maybe more of us need to be more scared to get prepared.

I think we sometimes just hope life will go on as it is forever. The prophets have been telling us for years and years to be prepared. Are we?

My next door neighbors are completely prepared. So is my dad. Is it their job to take care of the rest of us who let it slide? Hell no!!!

It will be our own dang fault if we starve to death. Get your rear in gear! Let's get it done and be ready for anything! Especially those of us with kids who can't do it themselves.

New beginnings.

I have exciting news!!!!! The first thing is, I finished my book yesterday! WOOO HOOO! I have started editing it and it is so much fun! I have finally found my niche!

Also, I just enrolled in a writing course which I am very excited about. It will give me 7 college credits if I want them. I will work one on one with an instructor and can't wait to begin!

Third, I ran a mile this morning without having to stop! I know I have started this scene over and over again but this time feels different. For one thing, my foot isn't bothering me this time. That is HUGE! I am a little sore in the thighs but I did just begin after all! I feel great! Oh, how I LOVE to run!!!

So, there in my news. Everything is going great. Bry is feeling better and better every day, the kids love school, Wyatt's blessing is this coming Sunday and my Dad will get to be here for it. He lives in Washington and is here for a trip so that is why we are doing it now.

I feel we are being showered with blessings now that the storms are over.

Belly dancing.

I was cleaning out my drawers this morning. I do this every season to get rid of clothes I don't like or that don't fit or that I haven't worn in a year.

Well, I found my belly dancing scarf that I bought in Texas. It's sky blue and adorable. It has hundreds of jingles on it and I love it.

I was still in my under ware as I had just bathed but it added to the mystique. I turned my happy music on and started swinging my hips!

I realized quickly that this would be really good for my tight Psoas muscle. I noticed how tight my right hip was so I "Worked" it! he he.

As soon as my kids heard they came running in. They thought it was awesome and danced with me. After a bit, my hip really loosened up. I could hardly even do the Merengue when I started and by the end, boy, could I move! And I have to admit, I didn't look half bad!

The kids all wanted a turn and Bry just laughed. I don't know how to take that exactly except with good humor! I'll give him his own version later! *smile*

Anyway, It was great fun. Think I'll do it more often. I'd love to get good at it!

I have a friend who has just started blogging. I adore her! She is wonderful and could use all our great "girlfriend" support. Take a trip over to see her. Her blog is.... ballroomdancer-wog.blogspot.com

So, I went to the massage therapist yesterday to have my Psoas muscle rubbed. Yes, I called it the wrong name in my past post. It's called the Psoas and it's kicking my butt! It's getting better, slowly but surely.

I am almost finished with my book. I only have a couple of chapters left! It's strange. I'm afraid to finish it. Maybe some of you writers know what I mean. It means it's almost over. The editing can begin. Is it good enough? Did I leave something out I shouldn't have? Did I say too much? Is it interesting enough? I want people to not want to lay it down. Is it that kind of a book? ARGGGGGGG!

I like this stage of just creative writing. The hard work will have to begin now!
I am totally excited about it but dang! It's scary!

So there it is. Have a great weekend!

Body Worlds

Have any of you people out there heard of "Body Worlds"? It is an art exhibit that is coming to Salt Lake on Sept. 19. I am very excited. I plan to go and I can't wait.

I love the human body. Anatomy was my favorite class I have ever taken. Granted, I took it in the summer when I had no other classes to worry about, thus, I wasn't overwhelmed and had time to appreciate it.

I told the hubby about it. I got an emphatic "NO". He said to me, "You know I can't even watch ER without getting nauseous. What makes you think I could make it through that exhibit? No Way."

Hmmmmm. Dilemma. So I called the sisters and they also had seen the advertisements and want to go. I found a coupon for it in Wasatch Woman and will use that. Anyone else who is interested is invited.

Our bodies are miraculous. It is a miracle when babies are born "normal". I learned in my anatomy class that there are a million things that can go wrong during development that usually doesn't. It is amazing.

We ARE gods in embryo. We are incredible. This is one of the reasons I LOVE to watch the Olympics. Young men and women push their beautiful bodies to the limit of what human endurance can tolerate and we get to see it.

I don't think there are words that can describe how grateful I am for my body. We are temples and I will do my darnedest to keep mine in the best shape I can. It has been a struggle for me and I have a lot of habits I need to overcome and adopt, but it is possible. Almost anything is possible with our bodies if we believe and are willing to do the work!

The skin tag

Many of you have requested to read my short story that won Peach Days this year. I have posted it to the left. I will only keep it up for a week as it takes up a lot of room and I am too computer illiterate to know how to do it any other way. he he

So, the topic for today's discussion are skin tags. Ever heard of them? Yes, they're gross but a fact of life none the less.

They are little protrusions of skin that appear out of no where. They are sent from Satan to bother and annoy us. Some think they come as a part of aging. Maybe so, but Satan has a hand in it.

There are ways these pesky little varmints can be removed. The expensive way is to have your doctor cut it off, freeze it or some other procedure that your insurance wont cover.

There are ways though, to take care of it at home. I was looking up these methods yesterday on the web when I came across a few.

The first was to cut it off with fingernail clippers. I have a small skin tag on the front part of my shoulder just above my arm pit. It made it's debut just after my first child was born. I tried to cut it off then, but it bled like a sucker and grew back! Tenacious little devils!

So, I let it alone, conceding defeat. I have once again gained enough courage to attempt the impossible. I sterilized my fingernail clippers, closed my eyes and just DID it! It hurt a bit, but when I looked down, it was still attached. Even though the clippers were completely closed. The dang clippers were too dull to cut it. They just pinched it and that was all.

So, my little skin tag filled with blood and looked so much prettier than before! I got back on the computer. There had to be a better way. They suggested tying a thread around it to cut off the blood supply. It would fall off in a couple of days. I tried to get both Bry and Jake to do that. The pansies wouldn't even try!

Then I came to a page that said to use Tea Tree Oil 3 times a day. Diluted with water. That sounded easy enough, so that is what I am doing now. I will let you know how it all turns out.

We'll just see who is toughest here! Me or my Satan sent skin tag!!!

We've been healed!

Well, there is just good news all around!

We went to the pulmonary specialist this morning and the verdict is in. Bry has asthma! WOOO HOOO! We are so happy! Especially considering what we thought it was.

The mass of infection is almost completely gone. There is only a teesy bit left in the bottom of the lung.

They dosed him up with a heavy duty inhaler and some fun pills if he knows he's going to have an especially strenuous day. But other than all that, he's good to go! We go back in a month to get checked out.

The doc said it takes a few months to see how severe the asthma is and get it to where it's manageable.

We feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders. We get another chance.

On the one hand, it's good this happened. It has put priorities in order for Bry. There are things he wants to do now that he had been putting off. Things we value more now. But I am sure glad it's over!

Fixed again

There's hope for me to be a runner yet. This spring, I had to quit running. It was all of a sudden. Over night, I had started to have a terrible pain in my groin and nothing I could do would fix it. Even if I jogged across the street, the pain was unbearable.

Well, yesterday, when I was being adjusted by my chiropractor whom I adore, he suggested that it could be a tight muscle on the inside of my hip bone. I can't remember what he called it but but I think it was the periformis. He massaged it for me. It was terrible!!! It felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. He said it was normal, and that this muscle was hard to get to and awful to massage.

He taught me how to do it and so I have been rubbing it, actually on both hips, and decided to get on the treadmill this morning to test it out! IT WORKED! No more pain.

It was caused by sitting for too long at the computer with my hips and legs at a 90 degree angle. I could feel it coming on at the time but didn't know what it was. Weird huh?

So, I am still going to swim every other day because I think I can get pretty good at that and I enjoy it but I want to run again too. Now the only thing holding me back will be my left foot/heel.

I think things can happen for a reason. There is a reason I was meant to stop running this summer. Maybe it was to meet a certain lady at the pool who I told about my chiropractor. She's been struggling with her back and there is no one better than Brad at fixing those things.

Maybe it was to show me a great alternative to cross train with. Maybe it was to teach me to over come the water in the nose thing. Who knows? All I do know is that many good things have come from this struggle.

Let this be a lesson we all remember. Out of the ashes comes the phoenix.

It was an experience that I will always treasure. And I just want to say up front that I so appreciate my sister S for being there for me. She is ALWAYS there for me. Thank you! It means to world to me. She has always come to be there with me for every special moment. I love you!

So, Here it is........My poem, which is actually a song I wrote, won honorable mention.

My Short story......Won FIRST PLACE! Oh man! As soon as they announced my name, I started to cry. That response was NOT what I had planned. I had to walk up there and read my story to everyone and I had tears in my eyes and couldn't even SEE the page!!

I cried in parts through the story too. I was embarrassed by this but there was nothing I could do. I am such a boob!

My sister told me that the whole audience was crying through the story too. It is a touching story and that really meant a lot to me. That they felt it too!

Here are a few pics of the event!

more good news

More good news! I found out today that two of my entries won! You see, I sent in my short story but I also entered a couple of poems for the poetry contest.

They are actually songs I wrote but they made good poems too. Anyway, just thought I'd let you know!

I am very excited about this. I have always loved to read. I read it all. From Steven King to Gordon B. Hinkley. I know a good book when I read it. I have always loved making up stories but had never gotten into it. I don't know why.

I wish I could go back and major in English lit. or something like that. Oh well. I do want to take some writing classes. I'd love to learn more and do even better.

Can't wait until Saturday! I'll let you know what happens!

Fabulous News!!!

OH MY WORD!!!!! Guess what!! I just got a call. I am one of the winners of the Peach Days Literary contest!!!!!

I don't know if I won first, second or third until I go to the awards ceremony!

But WOW!!

I am so excited! The ceremony is at four on Saturday in the community center on Forrest Street for any of you who want to come! The first place winner reads their story to everyone.

You are all invited!!!

WOOO HOOO!

Good morning. It's the beginning of a new week and I started it off at the pool. It was hard today. I felt drained. I am noticing that depending on the time of the month, I either feel more or less energy. I swam for almost a half hour then sat in the sauna trying to figure out why I felt so blah.

The good thing is that the time went by faster than last time, even though I felt tired.

It was a long weekend. It seemed like everyone was on edge. It was hard to not get irritated with each other. I hate days like that. When there seems to be constant contention.

I'm sure I added to it but all the kids were so bratty. Talking back and arguing. Except for when the power went out. Weird. Guess I need to be fun on a regular basis. It's just not in my nature!

My book is coming along nicely. The thing that is getting to me is that I read other books that are brilliant and it's hard for me to feel like I could ever write like that. But then I'll sit and edit what I have written so far and I think it's pretty dang good. But will a publisher think so?

I was reading an interview of Stephanie Meyer. She said she sent queries to quite a few different places and only one wanted her story. I'll bet those others are regretting that now!

Anyway, I'll let you know when I finish.

An old fashioned evening.

The power went out yesterday and was out forever! We had been picking up the toys in the basement at about 3:00 pm when it went out. It's stayed out for the rest of the the day and to about the middle of the night.

It was a little gift. Instead of tv or video games, we sat down and read stories until it got too dark. Bry got out our lantern and we set up "Settlers" and played that game until bed time.

Our kids LOVE Settlers. It lasted forever and Bry won. One of the coolest things we did was make homemade popcorn. We have a gas stove conveniently, and I hadn't made popcorn that way for 18 years! Since my mission. But it turned out perfect! The kids say they liked it better!

We gave each of the kids one of those little press-on night lights and tucked them into bed. It was very dark and they were a little nervous about it but did great.

Wyatt woke up SCREAMING at around 11:00 pm. We couldn't figure out what was wrong. He acted like someone was cutting off his legs. He wouldn't quit crying and nothing helped.

Finally, Bry heated up a bottle (on the stove), which took forever and that was what he had wanted. He'd been starving! He has a new cry he has just come up with this week. It's horrible. It is a screachy scream mixed with his cry. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.

After the bottle, he was tired enough to go back to sleep! What a night!

The power came back on probably about midnight or one. All in all, it was a great night and I'm so glad we lost power.