Baby things

I have been going through all my baby things. Sorting which things to give to the DI, which things to give to my sister who is pregnant and which things I want to keep.

This is really hard. It is breaking my heart actually. I know in my heart that I am not going to have any more children myself, yet, I want to hang on to these precious things that represent beautiful memories that I will never experience again.

The most beautiful things I will give to my sister, and the cute things to a neighbor of mine who is having a baby.

The outfits that all my babies wore, blessing dress, special blankets and things, I will keep. these things only take up a half of a tote. The things I am giving away take up 2 totes and 5 kitchen garbage bags!

I need to do this. I can't keep hanging on to this stuff. Plus I need the space. My youngest is almost 3 and really, others could use these beautiful things. But it makes me feel like a piece of me has died. I don't know how to explain it. I have to face it. Face reality. This is life. I am getting older, I have 4 great kids. Kids grow up.

I am like my mother. She had 8 kids. All in a 20 year span. She loved the baby stage and when one of us got to be about 3 or 4, she would want another. She had her first at 20 and her last at 40.

Now, I don't want to do that but I am very sentimental about my baby things. I hate giving them away. I want to be selfish with them and hold them to me and never let go.

I will shed a few tears and know that I am giving a huge gift to someone who cannot buy all these things on their own, but 0h, how hard it is.