I have a few minutes so I thought I would get my thoughts down for the day.
I had not realized how disappointed I would feel when I realized I was not pregnant. It's not like we are trying really but I honestly thought I was this month. It's scary to imagine having another baby and I wonder if I am crazy and I thought I didn't want anymore. I can't lie to myself any longer. I do. I love babies. I love the baby stage. I love the way they smell and drool and I love how it feels to nurse. I love the beautiful clothes I could buy. I don't even mind the midnight feedings or diapers or crying. Babies are easy for me.
I felt for a while there that I was supposed to have another one but it has been 4 or 5 months now and nothing has happened so I start to wonder if there really was no message at all.
I was talking to my sister and she just told me that they had been trying for the last year and had given themselves a year and if it didn't happen, then they wouldn't try anymore. She felt there was one more. A boy. Well, nothing happened and now they are thinking of getting a vascectomy (sp?) It makes me really sad.
How is it so possible to be so wrong? Is it just hormones? Why am I so disappoined when I already have 4 kids? Some women try for their whole lives and never get pregnant and here I feel sorry for myself. My dog is pregnant and so are 3 of my really good friends. Do I just feel left out of the excitement?
It is very tiring and stressful to keep going like this, yet I don't want to use birth control yet but I can't stand the end of the month when I find out again that nothing in my body has changed except for the fat content!
I do like the fact the I can run and not worry about anything but that. Jake has figured out how to adjust my foot for me and I hope that helps. I will just work out and get in really good shape and go from there.
Welcome, Tamara Hanks Grantham! - Crimson Tree Publishing is proud to present Bloodthorn, Olive Kennedy Fairy World MD Book 3, by Tamara Grantham! Olive Kennedy doesn’t believe in ...
1 year ago