OK, I need to know if I am the worst mother in the world. Jacob's birthday is tomorrow. We have planned a big fear factor party with his friends tomorrow. The problem is I still feel like crap. It is getting better but I have not cleaned my house in a week.

I am doing better than before, but I am still up nights with coughing and the baby. I sound terrible and have no energy. I do not want to do this party. I just feel awful.

He wants a skate board really bad that has only 2 wheels called a rip board or something. It is really expensive so I thought maybe I would bribe him with that instead of the party. I can't buy it normally but if we don't have the party, I would. Is that terrible?

I feel like a really good mom would just push through it. Would just stay up all night cleaning the house and decorating.. Never mind the coughing fits when I talk too much, he would have a great party.

The realistic mom in me says bag it, no one has RSVP'd anyway and bribe him with the skate board so I don't feel like such a loser. Dang. He'll be home in a half hour. I'll let you know what happens.