Thursday, September 22, 2005

The art of smart

This is what I think. We learn to be smart after we are born. Intelligence is not smarts. I was thinking back on my childhood and how I felt about myself and school as compared to my own kids. They do great in school and they FEEL smart.

I did not do well in school at any age. Not until college, and I ask myself "why?" My parents worried that there was something wrong with me so they had me tested for resource classes. The results came back that I was either unmotivated or just lazy. Now, as I think back on it. I did not feel lazy nor did I feel unmotivated. I actually felt incapable of doing better. I FELT stupid. I really didn't think that would change much if I studied harder or put more effort in. Where did these thoughts come from? How on earth could a child from a relatively normal family feel this way? Who put it into my head that I was stupid, because I don't think I came from God with those thoughts! I don't know. I may never know but it has been so cool finding out how smart I really am. That I do pick things up quick. That I can do anything anyone else can do if my desire is great enough.
I had tried to instill these thought patterns in my own children and I see it working. Why did my own parents not see this? Probably because they had 4 wild teenages to take care of and I was left to just grow up? Maybe.
Sometimes, even now, those insecure thoughts creep out and scare me! It's hard to believe they are still there under the surface hiding out. My life is wonderful. I love it now. I am living exactly the way I want to be for the most part, and that is all that matters at the moment.


Lisa M. said...

I think it is because we as a generation are smarter than our parents were. We have access to so much more knowledge, and even more ideas. We are a "thinking" generation, where our folks, were not really. Their cares and concerns were different than ours are.

If I may delve.

My father once, gave my sister a priesthood blessing, and called on the powers that be to cause her to forget some horrific things she had endured in her youth.

We of course, would not encourage our children now, to forget an experience, but to overcome it.

He was not trying to cause her more harm, by telling her to sweep it under the carpet so to speak. He was in his heart of hearts, trying to do the best he could, with the literal knowledge that he had.

You are a great parents. You really do facilitate the "Build each other up, not down" philosophy all the while maintaining expectancy and accountability.

I love that you are a "real" parent. That you know that your children make mistakes and will call them on them, yet you are also their ally.

I think you hit the nail on the head, when you took into account what was going on in your family, at the time you were growing up. SO much, and even some drama. I am sure your parents loved you. I am sure they did the best they knew how.

You're such a vibrant person, who is extremely talented. It shocks the snot out of me, that you have ever in one second felt the way you described, yet I also know you well enough to know the truth of it.

I think that one of the hardest things to do in the entire world, is to keep your chin up socially, when everything you feel is like you don't fit in.

Trust me, I am the POSTER child for not fitting in, and I think I "get" it. (At least I "get" how I feel)

Always remember that you hide from little. That you are up-front and open, and that people are either refreshed by it, or shy away from it, because it is something they lack with in THEM...

But most of all... Always remember, that I live down the street, that I ALWAYS have ice cream... and a shoulder, and I will kick anyone’s hind end (I so want to say ass on your blog) if they are not nice to you.

YOU have Pedro's protection!!! *smirk*

And you have my admiration and love!

melissa c said...

Thankyou dear lisa lu. As usual, you hit it on the nail. So perceptive. It love it.