What a day. The play was a success! It was a blast and so much fun. I think I am a little depressed it is over. I became so close to those people.
Today, in relief society, I was sitting in my seat that I had used for Sunday school. All the men had left and women were filing in. I was reading a book a lady had brought for her lesson. "Doctrines of Salvation". Anyway, I had never read it and I was fascinated with it.
When I looked up, The whole room was full. Almost every seat was filled except for my row. I was the only one on it. I was sitting in the second chair in. I sat there alone looking around at all my "friends".
I had to admit, I was surprised. I have lived in this ward for 5 years now. I am usually the one who always reaches out and is friendly to other people and now, when I had not been to one to reach out, I sat alone. Now, I could be a little hormonal but it hurt my feelings.
I have tried to have close relationships with some of the gals in my ward who I really like. It never took. I realize people are busy and I would just brush it off as that. Today, I feel like feeling sad about it. I can see why there are people who go inactive when they feel unwanted in their ward.
Just so you have a little history, I have grown up in the church, I have always had a strong testimony and I am a returned missionary, sealed in the temple etc.... Yet today, I wished I had never gone to church . I was more depressed by the time I got home then I had been in a long time.
This is not something that has just happened for the first time. It happens all the time. Our ward has also grown so fast that I swear I don't know half the people anymore. I guess I just feel like I don't fit in and I am tired of trying to make friends where it is one sided.
I have only 2 really close friends. 2 other women who feel as close as sisters. Who I can truly be myself with. That is fine by me. I don't have time for more then that. I guess I just wish.....well, I don't know what I wish. Maybe I just wish that I felt more wanted in my ward. Wanted for me. Not just my voice, as in the choir wants me to always show up.
I'm tired. Just plain tired. I think I should go to bed before I incriminate myself any more!
Welcome, Tamara Hanks Grantham! - Crimson Tree Publishing is proud to present Bloodthorn, Olive Kennedy Fairy World MD Book 3, by Tamara Grantham! Olive Kennedy doesn’t believe in ...
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