a hard day

I just had a very interresting experience. There is a boy in our ward who is the same age as J., my 10 year old. In fact, their birthdays are only a week apart. My son has tried to be friends with him since we moved here. It has never worked. J always feels left out by him.

This kid who we will call Skyler has always seemed like a little snot to me. I know him well since I have been his webelos leader for the last year. Well, almost everyday J comes home saying he is so sick of Skyler and wants to beat him up. Now, I don't think J really would do that but I know that feeling of wanting to.


I called Sky's mom and told her a little bit about what J was saying and feeling and wondered if we could work it out. They just came over. We talked for almost and hour trying to get to the bottom of the problem. This other boy basically said that J shows off and that he doesn't like it. He said he did not want to try to be J's friend and that so and so doesn't like him either and that they don't want to be his friends. All this in front of J. He also said he doesn't want to work it out. He doesn't want anything to do with J.

What a brat.


J said that the experience was the worst thing for him and that he would rather die than do that again. It was humiliating for him. I sat and hugged him and told him it was necessary and that now, hopefully, his mom could see what a brat he is being.

It is so hard to be a kid and to want friends and fit in. Kids can be so mean to each other. I think Skylar and Jacob's problem is that they compete. When one is feeling like he is losing, he lashes out and then the other gets mad and it spirals. I know Jacob is not completely innocent but he has been trying to be friends with Skylar at school. Jacob will ask if they can be friends now and skylar will say, "I don't know" and walk away. Jacob can't stand to have people not like him. It really bothers his yellow personality. I know. I am a yellow too!

J and I both know that he can be loud and obnoxious sometimes but let me tell you, I love that boy. He is one of my best friends. He always loves to play and have fun.


I told him that he needs to be the bigger man. Try to let it go when Skylar is mean to him at school and not to talk, or touch or communicate in any way. I don't know how that will work since they will be together through out scouts and church activities, but hopefully, they can work it out. I wish I could protect my kids from hurt and dissapointment. I hate to see how it hurts Jacob to feel singled out. He has a cousin who I think has a problem with him but won't talk about it. It really bothers me but there's not much I can do. I don't want to say anything to Jacob. He senses it but doesn't say anything either. Oh well. Such is life and learning to get along.