The Freedom Writers

I just watched this movie. I sat here on my bed, folding batch after batch of laundry. I find it very relaxing to fold laundry while I watch tv or a movie. Lisa loaned me this one last night.

I really loved it. At first, I thought, "Here we go again. Another movie about difficult kids, the school teacher that reforms them and the miracle ensues." I did get caught up in the story line but felt we'd seen this before. Until it got to the end.

This was a true story. Another real life story that told me how one person can make a difference. We really can. I was very touched. I had cried in a few parts that were really beautiful. You have to see it. It makes your heart feel good. It makes you believe in humanity again.

It makes you believe that you can make a difference.

So, here in little ole Honeyville I sit, folding laundry in my beautiful blue room. I hear my kids watching a cartoon. Seth is on the laptop playing some game and I sit here, reliving the feelings I felt during this movie. It makes me hopeful. What am I doing now to make a difference? I am making a difference to my kids. I'm not doing anything large scale or helping vasts amounts of people but I am doing my best to make a difference to 6 other people who I love and see every day.

I hope this is enough for now because it is all I have time for! My hope and prayer is that today, you can all look around you and see at least one person you can do something for. Something to bring a smile to their face or to just make them feel good.

One thing I learned when I did Mary Kay was to look at each person you come in contact with and remember that they have an invisible sign on their forehead that says, "make me feel important". It is such a simple thing. We all want to feel loved and we all need to love back. If it is so simple, why is it so hard sometimes?

Good luck

Essential Oils

I have new love. Yep, essential oils. You gotta love 'em. I discovered the wonder of essential oils just a short while ago because of a gift certificate Bryan gave me.

How many of you have ever had Foot Zoning done? To make a long story short, I have fallen in love with it. In fact, I am going to learn and certify in it. I have always loved that sort of thing and this is right up my ally.

The first time I had it done, I was really touched by the similarity to what Christ did for his apostles. He washed their feet, then anointed them with oil. That is pretty much what foot zoning does with some added massage in there. It is fascinating and I would recommend trying it at least once in your life. You'll get hooked. It makes you feel so good. Inside and out.

Plus the foot soak at the beginning pulls out toxins and that makes you feel good. My new friend who does it does muscle testing to see which oils I need and rubs in, in a really cool way. LOVE IT!!

So, once I am certified, I'll be expecting your phone calls!

I need advice

I'm in a quandry and would like some outside input.

This summer has been extremely busy with all the action around Wyatt's adoption and sealing. The sealing was beautiful but I have to be honest. I did not love the Ogden temple. I had asked for a small room as I had not invited tons of people and I wanted it to be cozy.

They gave us a huge room with like 80 seats and so it looked empty with just the few of us there. I am really in to ambiance so this did not give the desired effect. It didn't seem bright either. It almost felt like the lights were turned down or something. Didn't love that.

But the ceremony was beautiful, my kids were beautiful in white and Wyatt of course did great. Half the family got sick during the week so Bry, Wyatt, Heidi and Gabe all felt crappy. Luckily Jake, Seth and I felt fine.

My one sister who can't even go through the temple was there with a couple of her kids. Her one daughter was able to be inside with us. The thing I love is that she is always there. She asks for the details and says "I'll be there! Wouldn't miss it for the world!" She makes me feel so loved and important.

I have always felt like an outsider with most of my family since my mom died and my Dad moved away. I feel like I have never fit in. I am the only one out of 8 natural born kids that is active in the church. Many times there have been heated discussions about religion. I have often felt like they are antagonistic about the church. I don't go out of my way to invite them to spiritual, or religious activities we have for this reason. It's just uncomfortable for me and Bryan.

My opinion is that if they really wanted to be there, they would say so like Sister #1 did with our sealing. I invited them to Wyatt's adoption because it was going to be really cool and I thought their families would enjoy it. In fact, I invited them twice because the first time they gave no reaction or answer. I got the same thing the second time. I guess I just felt like they weren't interested. So I didn't formally invite anyone to the temple. I heard later that their feelings were supposedly hurt that I hadn't.

I just don't know what to do. I have never felt like anyone in my family really liked me. I get tired of feeling like a third wheel. I get tired of not fitting in and I get tired of being criticized for not doing it right when it comes to my sisters.

A lot of bad stuff has happened lately between my sisters and me that may never heal. So, the thing is, I am very hurt. They claim to be hurt by me that I never invite them to anything yet the things I have invited them to they didn't want to do. It is a cycle that never seems to end. We will have Wyatt's blessing coming up soon and can't decide what to do about it. Bry doesn't want to invite anyone. In fact, he'd like the church to be empty! lol He doesn't like to be the center of attention! Or doing something that feels so special and sacred in front of people who don't believe in it or feel that sacredness.

I went with my friend Tash to my sister's house this week so she could sell some of the awesome jewelry she makes. After we left, she told me I act different around them then I do normally. She said I acted insecure and more defensive. I didn't even know I did that. I still can't think of anything I did differently but maybe it is so automatic that I don't even notice it. It made me sad. My family really doesn't even know me but I don't feel like they really want to anyway. Maybe that's why I am different around them. Sad.

So, the question is, do I invite them to the blessing or not? I don't want it to be uncomfortable for anyone so I lean toward not and just avoiding all that but is that the right answer?

It's official!

As of Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 1:30 pm, Wyatt is ours! Ours forever after Saturday! It is so wonderful! And you have no idea what we have gone through to make it happen. Talk about stress. Maybe I'll write about it someday, but for now, I can't.

Suffice it to say, IT'S OVER! No one can take him away! It feels so good.

The adoption went great. It was lighthearted and happy. There were members of his birth family there as the adoption for Wyatt's other brother was happening right after to his uncle, who now is his daddy.

Anyway, I invited them to be in on ours if they wanted. For the first time ever, Wyatt's birth great grandmother held and saw him. She pulled him to her cheek and cried. It was very touching. I took a picture of them together. His birth Grandma and Grandpa were also there and held him part way through. He got to see lots of cousins and aunts and uncles.

The birth father was not there thank heavens. I would not have let him in. He is too volatile.

I stayed and watched his brother be adopted and his 2 older sisters to a different family. It was very happy and very sad at the same time. His birth mom is at the point of the mountain, in prison. I sent her a bunch of portraits from Wyatt's 1 year pictures.

I had a broken heart for her the whole day. I know, that in spite of her addictions and problems, she loved her kids. She just couldn't do it. Couldn't stick with it. Couldn't stay clean. Couldn't stay away from the birth father who was very bad for her. Had no support from family. It seems almost hopeless for her.

Wyatt also had adopted Grandma there plus 2 aunts and a bunch of cousins. Also Lisa and Tash were there to support us. It was wonderful! Thank you! You are wonderful friends!

God bless us, one and all.

We're Back!

I have to say that I have never had such a fun, relaxing vacation ever! This was so fun!

We left on Thursday afternoon and headed for fun. We stopped and ate in Price at KFC and it made me feel yucky. We got to Moab at 8:30pm and it was hot and beautiful.

Our room had 3 queen beds which was nice and an air conditioner that kind of worked! We quickly changed into our suits and headed out to the pool. They had a water slide there that the kids loved. I had given them strict instructions not to splash me because I didn't want to get my hair wet. That didn't last long. We had such a great time and didn't go in until they closed the pool to kids at 10.

The first night was terrible. The beds were as hard as the floors and Heidi, who slept with me, kept me awake all night. Seth talked in his sleep and I didn't realize he was asleep so I kept yelling at him to be quiet and "GO TO SLEEP"! Finally Bry say, "He's asleep, Melissa." to make me stop telling him to be quiet! And he also snores really bad. Mainly from his allergies. Bry snored some too. Not only that, but the little fridge in our room kept making these weird pinging noises all night long. ARGGG!

Now I am a light sleeper and let me just say, I didn't sleep much! I can look back on it now and it makes me laugh but at the time! MAN!

So I unplugged the fridge, put Heidi in a different bed, gave Seth some essential oil called "Breezy" that I use on Bry, and a Sudafed and got in bed with my book "The Host".

At Midnight Bryan begged me to turn out the light.
I slept much better that night.

We went to Arches and hiked around in the hundred degree heat and also had a little picnic. The kids loved it and so did I. It was so peaceful there.

On Saturday we went to the Moab Adventure Center and they bussed us the to Colorado river for our day of adventure of Rafting for the cure. We were assigned the most darling little guide. He was this cute, returned missionary and everyone called him "buckets" Because he always carried a bucket in his boat that he used to douse the other boaters with when we had water fights. Which happened frequently as our boat had the most kids! We were put with another darling family from Belgium. The mom and dad could speak English but the girl and boy who were about 12 and 10 couldn't. We all got on as though we had known each other for years. They were fantastic. Buckets made Jake captain and we had to do what ever he directed which was to attack every boat we could get to. The other boats just loved us! They got even though, when they all ganged up on us at the same time!

We stopped for lunch at the beautiful Red Cliffs Lodge. It was a HUGE lunch and everyone ate until we were stuffed. I met so many great people there.

Bry had never once gotten in the river. He's not a swimmer and had no desire. Jake had snuck up on me and pushed me in and Bry pulled me back in and I push us both over the other side. I thought it would be funny! He did not! But he was a good sport about it after he had drowned me. He doesn't play fair!

We did get a little sunburned but not bad. We ate great food the whole time and had great fun! It was perfect but I have to admit, I couldn't wait to get home to my 2 little boys. I hated that they weren't there.

The kids fell in love with Moab and already are begging to go back again. They want to go every year. Guess we'll need to take up biking now!

Oh, by the way, I forgot my camera, yes, I know, Don't say it. And will post some pics from the disposable I bought when I get them developed!

Woo Hoo! Moab!!

Well, I'm off! We are leaving tomorrow for Moab! I am so excited! We are doing the "Raft for the cure". I know it sounds insane to go in July, but back in May, I wasn't thinking about heat! It was still cold half the time!

I have never been and so we will see the sights on Friday, Swim in the pool that has a water slide at our Hotel and get sunburned.

On Saturday, We'll eat early, do the rafting all day until 4:00, they provide lunch at some awesome lodge, and dinner, I'm not sure where and then a concert in the park with a bunch of well known performers. Don't remember who they are but they're famous!

Then we will check out on Sunday after breakfast and head back home. It will be a blast and I can't wait.

Only kids 5 and up can go on the rafts so Tash is watching Gabe and Wyatt. I hate leaving them home and I will miss them but it's better that they're safe I guess. lol

So...... "I'll be back" (in your finest "Arnold" voice).

True Friends

This is a tribute to true friends. They are the ones who stand by you and support you. They are the ones who would fight for you when you are wrongly accused.

They call you to see how you are or just to see if you are ok. They care. They comment on your blog page even if it takes a little more time because they want you to know they are reading it and that you are important to them. That your thoughts are important to them.

I love it when my friends call just to see what I'm doing. I love those conversations that start out, "So, what cha doin?"

I do not know what I would do with out my dear friends. The hardest thing is to find out that someone you thought was a friend, really isn't. That someone claims to be a friend but naturally jumps to the wrong conclusion or doesn't believe you when you say something. With friends like that, who needs enemies? *smirk*

I have had friends like that in the past. People who I have loved and then turn around and think the worst of you. People I have trusted.

Well, it has taken me a while to have learned who those people are who would do anything for me. I love those ladies dearly and I'll tell you what, there aren't that many. They are few and far between like rare, precious stones.

Some of you I know very well. I talk to daily. Others, are here in cyberspace. I can't wait to read your next posts and I can't wait to see what you have said on mine. Thank you so much for your friendships. Thank you for your support and love and understanding these last few years.

I hope that I am always someone you can count on.

Old age

OK, so I turn 38 in a couple of weeks. Most people would think that this is still very young and to some it is. Although age does seem to sneak up on you and take you by surprise, I'm still amazed at how quickly it sneaks it's little head in!

For Example---I have a terrible memory. I think it must be a birth defect because I am positive that I have always had this problem. I mean seriously. Listen to this. Last fall, When I was just getting interested in writing, a friend of mine suggested buying a book called "38 most common mistakes in fiction writing". So I did. Well, I just couldn't get in to the story I was writing for one reason or another and I let it go.

Just a few weeks ago, after starting this book I am writing now, I remembered that book and that I ought to have it in helping me write this story. So I got online, bought it and waited anxiously for it to arrive. Two days ago it came. Yippee! I started reading and thought "this all seems very familiar." Well, guess what. Yep, you got it. I had already bought it and couldn't even remember that I had!! This is actually an everyday occurrence for me but I digress.

So, then I go and look in the mirror. When did those wrinkles show up? I look at my arms. Are those freckles? Um, no. Those are called sun spots. They are much larger than freckles and not nearly as cute.

I put on my "Fat" skirt today to wear to church and what??? I have to actually PULL it together to zip up. Now I swear! I don't eat any different than I have for the whole rest of my life and yet, I'm carrying extra baggage on my hips, thighs and rear end. The rear end is actually fine since I've never had one before but I would really like to take that back and hips stuff and transfer it up top.

So I diet and try to exercise. Low and behold, the aging process comes in to play again. Every time I do something physical, Some other part of my body falls apart. Either my neck aches, or my upper back hurts between the shoulder blades, or the sacrum goes out and pinches a few nerves, or the fallen arches come in to play, not to mention the cuboid bone in my foot who never wants to play! So I give up on exercise for a while and just diet. But to lose weight at this point without the physical side, I have to literally starve!

Ya, I think I will just embrace my old age as it comes. Even though it is coming a little early, what you resist, persists. Right?

Happy 4th of July! I have to say, I am so glad that this Holiday happens in July. It happens to be one of my favorite months!

I love what this day means. My parents were always very patriotic and certain things still make me cry to this day too. I am so glad they instilled that love of country in me that I feel.

One of the first things I cry over is bagpipes. I don't know what it is about bagpipes but my mother always had an affinity for them. Just seeing those players in their tartan colors brings tears to my eyes. I don't know why. At our little Honeyville parade today, they played a patriotic song as they walked by and I cried for my mom.

The second thing is when the float goes by with our veterans. Usually it is filled with the elderly but there are always a few young'uns there too. They always make me cry. They are willing to lay down theirs lives for us and we disrespect them when we don't treat what they do with reverence. Even if we don't agree with a war, they are out their fighting for what is right and I am humbled by their sacrifices.

The parade here is short and sweet but there was tons of candy and the kids loved it. Wyatt cried of course when the firetrucks passed and blared their horns. Poor thing! It made me laugh! Heartless, I know!

It has been a wonderfully relaxing afternoon. I have loved just lazying around. Tonight, we'll go to the fireworks. They are the best around. I've never seen any as good that last as long. I hope Wyatt enjoys it!

Anyway, God bless you on this wonderful day! I pray that we always deserve these freedoms we enjoy and may we always be able to keep them.

Books

I haven't put up a new book in a long time. That is not to say I haven't been reading, I just didn't take the time to change it. I have read some wonderful books since that last book I had up.

I finished "The Other Boleyn Girl" which was fascinating. It's hard to believe that people could live at court the way they did, day after day. No wonder they were so screwed up. It made me so grateful that I live now!

I have read the book "Master" which was the best book about the life of Christ that I think I have read so far.

I am now reading a book called "The reincarnationist" At least I think that's what it's called. It could be The reincarnationer but I think it's the first one.

Thank heavens for good books that lead us to Never Never Land. What a nice escape for us as we go through this difficult life.

The book I am writing is going really well. It just pours out of me. I have Jake read it as I finish a new chapter and so far, he says it's great. We'll see. I'll know it's great if someone wants to publish it!

I have found writing very entertaining! I can't wait to find out what I think up next! I have a general plan or outline but sometimes, most of the time, a new idea pops into my head as I write. It's one of the funnest things I have done in a long while.

Anyway, that's what's up in this neck of the woods. Have a lovely day my friends.