So far so good with the scripture reading. I've done it for 2 days and I'm on page 26. That leaves me about 12 and a half pages a day. I love reading like this. It is more like a novel. I can't count how many times in my past I have read the B of M but I am noticing new things this time around. It is amazing.

I remember thinking when I first started, "I hope I'm not bored." I know it sounds stupid but there aren't many books out there that I would have a desire to read over and over and over! I think twice is my limit.

Wyatt is rolling all over the place. He is so adorable. The birth father has fallen out of the picture. That is good for us. He wont relinquish though, because he wants to be able to say that the state took his kids, he didn't give them up. Oh well. SO that put a trial which they have to have in May and then he can be ours!!!!

I have officially lost 4 lbs. 4 real lbs. It has taken over a month and that is frustrating but I am doing it the healthy way. I have tried every diet pill out there believe me. If you want to know how one works, just ask, I've tried it. They don't work. Sad really. But I am running and watching portion sizes, eating healthy food and it is slowing going down.

My teeth are still pretty sensitive. The dentist says it's normal. I wish I could go back. I wouldn't have had the silver removed for the white. I feel like I was sold out. I wish they would have mentioned the pain and constant ibuprofen popping I would be doing. Just last night I was woken out of a sound sleep because my teeth were aching so bad. I've had s-rays and everything looks fine. My insurance doesn't pay for root canals or crowns so I will have to grin and bare it. The doctor says the sensitivity should go away. We'll see.

The Hinckley Challenge

I read about this challenge on Smee's page. I am very late in starting but I can catch up. I used to read the Book of Mormon like a novel on my mission. I honestly haven't been reading the scriptures lately. Not because I don't want to really, more because I leave it to the last minute only to find I have no more minutes left!

I do love to read though. I am always reading. It has always bothered me that I read so much but never the scriptures. I have always had good intentions, but as they say, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

This will be my turn to prove that when I make a goal or promise, damn it, I keep it!

I will keep you posted on my progress. It says I need to read 13 pages a day to make it in time. No problem. I easily read 50 pages of other books in a day! If you want to join in, go to Smee's. It's on her side bar.

Tomato Soup

I just want to sing the praises of tomato soup. It is one of those things that makes me feel at home. It is the best coupled with grilled cheese sandwiches. I love it hot on a cold day.

There are some things in life that just make you feel good. A warm fire, soft sheets, big windows, the ocean crashing against the sand. I love feeling cozy. I love it. I don't know why it is such a strong feeling for me but I feel a need to be cozy all the time. I like it warm, whether I'm bundles up in jammies and a soft robe with fuzzy socks or soaking in a steaming tub.

I like the weight of heavy blankets. Even in the summer. If I get too hot, I just kick them off. I do not like air conditioners turned up too high. I like it just to where the heat is bearable and comfy. It's funny, but I get in the car with someone like Lisa and have to turn the air down. She laughs and knows I should have been born in some tropical paradise.

I remember one experience while I was waiting for my mission call. I was in Cedar City going to school. I was walking home from class at my least favorite time of day, (around 4:00pm)(don't know why I don't like that time of day but I never have) and I remember praying to Heavenly Father to PLEASE send me somewhere warm. At the time I was freezing my buns off while the wind whipped around me. I now have a firm testimony of the power of prayer. That was one of my most earnest prayers and He heard me. I went to Venezuela and was so hot I would get sick. (once in a while!) Oh well, You can't have it all!

Anyway, to sum up, that is why I like tomato soup. It is hot, cozy, tasty and makes me forget when it's late afternoon.

The Boxmaker's Son

I have been reading this book for a week now and I have so say, it is one of the most beautiful stories I've read and I will always remember it.

It is Beautifully nostalgic and so moving that it brings tears to my eyes. The time period is in the 60's. A time when my older brothers and sisters were being raised. It is a beautiful tribute to this man's father and has made me love my own even more.

He jumps back to the time when as children, our lives are so carefree and easy. A time when we look at our parents and have no idea the struggles they are having, raising and supporting us.

I know I am not a professional in my critiquing but I would highly recommend reading this book. It brings such a good feeling. Memories of a happy childhood. A childhood not too different from one I remember. Playing kick the can in the street with all the other neighborhood kids, long sacrament meetings in the evening.

Anyway, I hope I have done this book justice with my thoughts. I hope you all go out and read it. It will bring a little sunshine to your day.

Touched by the Spirit

I have to tell you all something that was so cute. It's Easter Eve and we are sitting in our living room and I am telling the story of the crucifixion and resurrection to my kids. I then tell the story from the Book of Mormon. It is so beautiful and when I tell the part where Jesus called the little children to him and the angels came down and surrounded them with fire, it just touched me in a way that made me cry. Sob might be a better word. I can just see it in my mind. I can't picture anything more wonderful.

I looked down at Gabe who is 3 and sitting right next to me. You should have seen his face. He was staring at me with wide eyes full of horror. When I got to the part about the angels and the fire surrounding the children, his lip popped out and huge alligator tears filled his eyes and he started crying. I don't think he was touched by the spirit though. I'm pretty sure is was seeing his mother sob over this story. He must have thought something pretty terrible was happening. I know by the look on his face that he thought I was upset. I couldn't help it, I started laughing.

I hope this doesn't affect his testimony in the future! Every time he hears this story, I hope it doesn't upset him on some level he doesn't even understand!!! I have to laugh though. I was so sweet and so cute. His reaction was priceless and it gave everyone a good laugh. Everyone but Gabe!

Here's the latest. After having my fillings done, I had one tooth that has been really bothering me. I finally went back in a week after and had an x-ray. I have been fighting off a cold and the x-ray showed my sinuses sitting right on that tooth. Also, it is a deep filling. close to the nerve, I had a dentist a long time ago tell me that this particular tooth would probably need a root canal in the future. Maybe the future has caught up with me!

Anyway, I bought a heavy duty decongestant and my tooth isn't bothering me as much! But I don't want it to bother me every time I catch a cold either.

Today we colored Easter eggs. Always fun. Bry has been sick forever. I wonder if his mono came back and has just wiped him out. He can't seem to get over these colds the kids bring home.

Oh, on Monday night, I took Wyatt to the emergency room..He caught the cold the other kids had and at midnight woke up and looked like he was having an asthma attack. They gave him a breathing treatment and a shot of steroid and an antibiotic because he also has his very first ear infection. He is doing great now though. Just a little stuffy, otherwise, over his cold.

So there it is. My very exciting week!

What a week! Our Shi Tzu (sp?) had 2 little puppies on Wed. A boy and a girl. SO cute. Tash's dog is the father and she is taking one but hasn't decided which yet. I'll sell the other for $400 if anyone is interested. They are half Shi tzu and half Yorkie/Maltese. Her last batch was so cute too. It is a good mix. It gets rid of the problems most pure breads have.

Then, on Thurs, I went to temple square with My sister who was visiting and her new boyfriend. He is a golden contact and I honestly think there is a good chance he will join the church. We saw the Joseph Smith movie which I cried clear through of course. We Had lunch in the Garden Restaurant, and toured the grounds. It was really neat. I haven't done that in a while.

One funny thing. We decided to tour the Bee hive house where Brigham Young lived and we were in that first room where people could ask questions before you start the tour and there was this guy at the back who started asking questions like, "How many wives did Brigham have?" and "I heard Joseph smith had 49 wives" and was just sounding a little antagonistic. The 2 missionary sisters did well under the barrage but when He finally asked, "If they brought polygamy back would you do it???" The missionaries just stood there all quiets so I chimed in. I raised my hand and said, "Heck ya, I would. Think of all the help you'd get with baby sitting, cooking, laundry. It would be great!" Eveyone laughed and it diffused the moment. We started the tour, and I stayed between my little investigator and that guy! Like a big mama bear! But it turned out ok. I honestly don't have problems with questions on polygamy. They don't bother me at all. Ya, we practiced it, ya, there are bad rumors about some of the things that happened, ya, there were people who abused it and yes, there were some really good stories about it too. No big deal.

We went to Hardware ranch the next day and played "Settlers" as much as we could. What a fun weekend and my kids loved R, the new boyfriend. I hope she keeps this guy.

I feel guilty because my neck was hurting and I didn't feel good so I skipped church. I always feel like I am sluffing when I could have forced myself to go! Oh well. Have a great week folks!

A good start

It's over!! The PMS or PMDD what ever it is...It's gone! I love that! Plus, Bry took his new cough suppressant and we slept all night!! THAT alone, makes me feel wonderful! Plus, to top it all off, I haven't run in a week. Since my last post about it and yes....I did it again.

I was worried I wouldn't be able to run a mile again. That it was a fluke. I did it. I run a 12 min mile which is very slow in the runners world but that can be changed once I get to where I want to be.

So, I am starting the day off in a great way. Now I am off to the dentist. I have a cavity for the first time in years. He said it looks like a previous (of course) dentist nicked the tooth next to the one he had been filling and it had slowly decayed in that spot. Nice.

He also said my silver fillings are loosening and asked me if I wanted to replace all of them at the same time and just get it over with. Why not? So off I go. Wish I had a valium. But then I wouldn't be able to drive there!

Just the smell of a dentists office makes me uptight! Oh well, if I can force myself to run on a treadmill and I can give birth naturally, I can overcome my fear of the dentist! Go figure! I'll let you know what happens!

I was reading Jeri's post and I love how she does a weekly gratitude entry. I think I need to do that today because to be honest, I feel really depressed right now.

I know it is hormonal. I get PMDD I think. I say "I think" because I have never been officially diagnosed but I don't need a man to tell me I feel like @$%&.

Anyway, part of the problem is I am not getting sleep. My husband has now had a really bad cough that seems to act up only at night. It lasts from about 2 on. I am starting to get mad. He won't make an appointment with the doctor of course and it just keeps going. I think he may have walking pneumonia or something.

I finally made an appointment for him although it really irritates me that I have to do it. He teases me when I do things like this and says "You're not my mother". I could go on from here with something really good but I would regret it later!!!

So, here I sit at 6am. I have been up since about 4 probably. I soaked in the tub, finished my book, the guardian, which was so good and came back in to do this.

It will hit me later how tired I am and I will feel like crap for the rest of the day. I have had a hard time getting any running in because It is either too dark when I am up or I am too tired by the time it's light enough.

I better stop because I feel my anger rising as I think about it! lol

So, good morning, good day, and good night.

The Guardian

I am reading a new book (of course). I never stop reading. I am ALWAYS reading something. My latest affair is with this book. It is not the story of the coast guard like the movie.

It is about a woman who's husband has died and meets a guy, decides he's not the one for here and ends up falling for one of her best friends. The first guy turns out to be psycho. She had a great Dane who protects her and loves her as though he is the guardian spirit of her dead husband. The wacko guy stalks her and has wild conversations with himself. It's amazing that there really are guys out there like this.

It is very well written; I love it and and can't lay it down. The plot is gripping and fast paced. The twists are fascinating and well, lets just say, I'm really enjoying it. Of course, It will probably end predictably but it is still a very good read.

Check it out.

A Milestone

As my title here says, I hit a milestone today. You know, one of the moments you work so hard for, dream of, cry over. Something you want so bad that you do everything you can to make it happen.

This morning, I ran a mile! That does NOT include the warm up or cool down. In fact, I did it in 11 min. (give or take a few seconds). THIS IS HUGE!!! I have been working for 5 and a half years to be able to run.

I have had SO many obstacles to overcome to get here. Why do I want to run so bad? I don't know!!! I do know that I have had a taste of how it makes you feel. I loved that short few months when I actually did it.

I am thrilled! That first mile is the very hardest to get to. Once you are there, it is much easier to keep it up but man, that mile can seem straight up hill!

There is a song that describes how I am feeling right now. Here it is...

A Piece of Sky

"Tell me where...Where is it written what it is I'm meant to be.
That I can't dare.....

It all began the day I found that from my window I could only see a piece of sky.
I stepped outside and looked around, I never dreamed it was so wide
or even half as high.

The time had come to try my wings and even though it seemed at any moment I could fall I felt the most amazing things. The things you can't imagine if you've never flown at all.

Though it's safer to stay on the ground, sometimes where danger lies there the sweetest of pleasures are found. No matter where I go there'll be memories that tug at my sleeve. But there will also be more to be more to question, yet more to believe.

Oh tell my where...where is it written what it is I'm meant to be?

The more I live, the more I learn. The more I learn the more I realize the less I know. Each step I take, each page I turn, Each mile I travel only means the more I have to go. What's wrong with wanting more? If you can fly then soar! With all there is.....Why settle for...... just a piece of sky???"


You really have to hear the song to truly get the passion I feel when I hear it. It is sung by Barbara Streisand and is from her movie "Yentl"


So..there it is! If you have a goal, GO FOR IT!!! DO NOT give up because it seems hopeless! I can't tell you how many times I have cried when I tried to run and couldn't! Don't let anyone tell you "you cant' or you shouldn't" or that it is not possible or worth it! They don't know the path you should take! YOU do! You alone!

My prayer today is that we are able to love each other and encourage each other to be the best we can be! Good luck and God speed you on your way to your dreams!