Reality check.

Well, it was a beautiful winter day here in Utah. Lovely gray clouds, overcast, some call it, beautifully landscaped snow with gray and yellow highlights. (I won't mention the sources) I couldn't ask for better. So I decided to finally get out of bed at 11:00 am and go for a run.

I have been trying to get back in the habit as you all know. It is VERY hard. I have been running on the treadmill and as some know, it is totally different than hitting the pavement.

I made my son who is 12 go with me as he is needing to do something physical. He is not involved in any sports at the moment. He kicked my butt. We took our Golden retriever, Jenny who did great. She is not used to it so I am training her to be my running buddy. She is afraid of every car that comes up behind her.

It was cold and it bothered my throat. I am just getting over a cold I've had for 2 weeks. I was surprised how fast I got tired. I realize that I finally need to admit that I am totally out of shape. I am where I am because I eat too much and don't exercise. I weigh more now than I ever have and have been making excuses as to why this is but it all boils down to ME. I have bought diet pills that don't work but keep me up all night. I have tried 3 different brands and none of them make a difference. I am very discouraged about it.

Am I desperate enough to make the change? I hope so. I am tired of giving excuses. I did this to myself. I am very depressed about it but I want to run again. I want that feeling of freedom and the high that comes with it. I want my clothes to fit and feel good. I want to have energy. I want my kids to be proud of me and not embarrassed to have me with them at school or other events. I want to be the example to them how important it is to be healthy.

I know I can do it. I have done it before. It will just take patience and perseverance and I can do that! My thing is the long term. Can I do it for the rest of my life? So far I haven't been able to but that doesn't mean that can't change.

I'll keep you up to date on my success!