Monday, June 01, 2009

Poor me/ Yea me!

So, for the first time, I've been really depressed about this chronic fatigue stuff. I even cried today. I couldn't help it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way. Before there was a verdict, I had hope that it was just hormones or something, that it would go away. Now, I'm beginning to wonder.

There have been a lot of days where I have to force myself to even write in my books etc . . . Frequently, I get out of the bathtub and just lay on my bed for a while because I'm too tired to get dressed. Today, I decided to force myself to work out, knowing I'd feel like crap the rest of the day, but knowing it would be good for my body. But then I remembered my broken toe, which still hurts quite a bit, so I didn't.

Bry came home at lunch and felt bad with me. He feels the same way about his situation with the asthma. He still hasn't completely recovered and feels like crap most of the time. We are a couple of basket cases.

Anyway, enough of feeling sorry for myself. On the flip side of the coin. Neighborhood News is publishing an article of mine on Wednesday! I will be a paid, published author. OFFICIALLY! Ya hoo! It's only fifty bucks, but hey, beggers can't be choosy!

So, life isn't all bad. I have a great little family, friends who care and my Dad has been so sweet as I've shared my woes with him. He is one of my greatest supports. Then there is Bryan who doesn't feel good himself, but always builds me up. He doesn't complain and we just lay together on our bed trying to put our legs on top of each other. Two invalids trying to wrestle. We laugh a lot and that is what gets us through. Man, I love him!


Jeri said...

so sorry you're feeling so tired. like you said, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with...

Hope I don't offend - but in these pictures you two look like death warmed over. (him more than you, you just look worn out!)

Love ya!

Yolanda said...

At least you are not on the list on my blog....I'm NEVER sick of you!!

I'm so sorry this is happening. It's awful when you feel like you aren't in control.

It seems to me like we both need a boost!!!

I'm thinking of ya! With all my love and friendship!!

Tash said...

Death warmed over is perfect way to describe as i sat up all night (yes all night..sigh) i tried to come up with ways to get me back on track.. of course when morning came and i couldnt function they all went out the its sooo hard to have so many goals..and no energy to do them..sigh...hugs.. from one who understands :)