When you dream, dream big. As deep as the ocean, as wide as the sky, as far as the sea and as free as the wind.
Friday, August 15, 2008
I went to see "Mama Mia" by myself today. I just wanted some time alone. It was a great movie with fabulous music and I cried clear through it.
I was surrounded by geriatric couples who never stopped talking out loud. If I would have been in a better mood, it would have made me laugh. Seriously, there were 4 or 5 elderly couples sitting in a circle around me.
There I sat, eating popcorn with too much butter, knowing it would make me sick and I ate it anyway. I also tried to drown my sorrow with chocolate. That usually helps but not this time.
I cried the whole way home too which I suppose could have caused an accident but I did manage to make it safely.
Our doctors appt. this morning was what we expected but not what we hoped. There is some sort of mass in his lung, it looks bad but they aren't sure what it is. They are trying to get him in at University Hospital ASAP to have a bronchoscope done. That is were they go in, look around and get a biopsy.
Bryan's dad smoked for 20 years. The whole time he lived at home. Bry was also a sandblaster in his younger years and has also worked with asbestos. So who know what has caused this. The doc said not to jump to conclusions but to be prepared because it looks bad. He was very caring and concerned and we really like him but he was direct.
We are both pretty sad today. I am trying not to guess or assume the worst about it but just imagine what you'd be thinking if this happened in your life. It's impossible to not imagine the worst or to not dwell on it. At least a little bit.
The doc also told us to get a blessing and that he had seen MANY miracles happen because of blessings. We are having a fast with our friends and family on Sunday if any of you want to join in.
Thank you for your concern and care. It means a lot to me.