Friday, August 15, 2008

Bad news




I went to see "Mama Mia" by myself today. I just wanted some time alone. It was a great movie with fabulous music and I cried clear through it.

I was surrounded by geriatric couples who never stopped talking out loud. If I would have been in a better mood, it would have made me laugh. Seriously, there were 4 or 5 elderly couples sitting in a circle around me.

There I sat, eating popcorn with too much butter, knowing it would make me sick and I ate it anyway. I also tried to drown my sorrow with chocolate. That usually helps but not this time.

I cried the whole way home too which I suppose could have caused an accident but I did manage to make it safely.

Our doctors appt. this morning was what we expected but not what we hoped. There is some sort of mass in his lung, it looks bad but they aren't sure what it is. They are trying to get him in at University Hospital ASAP to have a bronchoscope done. That is were they go in, look around and get a biopsy.

Bryan's dad smoked for 20 years. The whole time he lived at home. Bry was also a sandblaster in his younger years and has also worked with asbestos. So who know what has caused this. The doc said not to jump to conclusions but to be prepared because it looks bad. He was very caring and concerned and we really like him but he was direct.

We are both pretty sad today. I am trying not to guess or assume the worst about it but just imagine what you'd be thinking if this happened in your life. It's impossible to not imagine the worst or to not dwell on it. At least a little bit.

The doc also told us to get a blessing and that he had seen MANY miracles happen because of blessings. We are having a fast with our friends and family on Sunday if any of you want to join in.

Thank you for your concern and care. It means a lot to me.

8 comments:

Jeri said...

Oh Melissa! I am so sorry. I am sitting here crying with you now, and I'll be fasting with you on Sunday. I love you! I can only imagine how awful this is for you both right now. Know that we love you and are pulling for you!

Charlotte said...

Oh Missy.

You hang in there, okay? The husband of one of my best friends had one lobe of his lungs removed last September because they found cancer there. Since the surgery he's been going through chemo, and miraculously, his cancer levels are normal now. They are still doing another month or so of "just-to-be-on-the-safe-side" chemo, but things are looking really good for him.

Because of this and some other examples I've seen, I'm a BIG believer in miracles.

I'll be praying for one for you.

With love, love, love, and more love,

Char

Yolanda said...

I am so sorry...What a lot to carry...I have no idea what to say, other than I love you, and you and Bry will be in my prayers...
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Analei said...

Oh my sweet friend! This is a lot to bear. I will pray for both you and Bry and hope with all hope this will pass.

Analei aka Island Queen

Analei said...

Oh my sweet friend. What a load to bear. My prayers will be with you both and my hope with all hope that this will pass.

Analei aka Island Queen

S'mee said...

amen to all above comments. Do not despair, try to keep positive and keep us all inform. hugs.

Lisa M. said...

I've been out of town. Oh Melissa.

Goodness.

Okay- Good hell.

thinking.

Never mind, I am calling-

Oh good graciousness.

Bamamoma said...

Melissa,
I am Char's friend whose husband is just finishing up chemo. He was diagnosed in a similar way (they thought he had pneumonia and after 3 months of treatment decided to do a biopsy). If you ever want to talk, feel free to get my contact info (email, phone) from Char. If you are interested in my blog about the experience, you can checkout bamamoma2 at blogspot (it isn't very comprehensive but has been more like therapy for me).

Best wishes to you and your husband.