Here he is!

Here they are folks!!! The big day was Monday and the kids are all in love. So am I. Bry wasn't there. I need to get some picks of him with the baby.

I already feel like he is my own. What a fun addition he has been. We adore him. But boy do I need sleep!

MIDDLE NAME ME ME

jenny tagged me:

Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name.

July...the best month of the year my b -day month

Understanding at least I think I am.
Dreamer...I love to dream in the day and at night.

Independent...most of the time

Truthful...sometimes I shouldn't be.

Hot baths...nirvana....my Valium.

If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a message to let them know you tagged them.

I tag: LISA, YOLANDA, JERI AND CHARLOTTE

A fabulous day!

HE'S HOME!!! It has been a really great day. Gus is here. I don't love this name but haven't settled on a definite name yet that I want. He has done really well. His is adorable and the kids are just ecstatic!

They all want to hold him. It is so cute.

It was also the first day of school...It was a great day for all the kids. Jake came home really happy. He was the one I was worried about. He said he made a lot of new friends which was a worry for him if he would or not.

Seth who is in 2nd and Heidi who is in Kindergarten, both had a really fun day. I am so relieved. They all had a great start.

Another great thing happened. I finally go a piano book that I bought off ebay. It was one of my favorites growing up. It is the "Reader's Digest Great music's greatest hits".

So, there is my day! Fabulous! I am putting in a request for another just like it!!!!

I am exhausted! It is 11:00am on Sunday morning and I just got home from the hospital. Gus's doctor wanted me to spend the night and do a bunch a feedings in a row to see how I handle him and how he handles me. 3 hours had never passed so quickly. He HAS to eat 52 mls every three hours or he will lose weight. He gets really sleepy and doesn't want to eat it all.

He had his feeding tube removed 3 days ago about and is now doing it all on his own. Incidentally, it makes him tired which makes his saturation go down (oxygen in the blood) and then he gets more tired and sleepy. It is a vicious cycle. So he did ok during the night but this morning I held an oxygen tube by his face while he ate and it helped. He did not get so tired and did a little better. He was supposed to come home Friday, then Sat. then today and now she wants me to wait until tomorrow to give him 48 hours of eating everything on his own.

The kids are so excited to have him come home and I do not want Jake to be here to always babysit. That is the silliest thing I've heard today but I do depend on him for help when we need it. If I had had this baby myself I would be doing it the same way. I am treating it as though he IS mine because I feel he is. I adore my kids and I do not put my needs ahead of theirs. (I roll my eyes). But I have to put this baby's need up there at the top right now. As the foster mom, I am required to be there for him. Our whole family decided together that we wanted this baby, not just me, yes, it required sacrifice on all our parts but I believe it is worth it and so that is that.

Tomorrow is the first day of school. I will miss the summer vacation but am excited for the kids. Jake is not excited. He is in a weird place right now and is ornery about everything it seems like. Unless he is given total freedom and entertainment. I hope this year is fun for him. He does get to take a beginning guitar class on Thursdays after school and he is really looking forward to that.

Well, I am tired. So I guess I will sign off.

Good morning. It is Saturday and I love Saturdays. I have to admit, I am a little frustrated right now. My sister who is staying with me took my boys to Lagoon with our bounce back tickets. I couldn't go because the baby was supposed to be coming home.

To make a long story short, he can't yet. His eating has slowed down. They want me to come in and stay the night with him. So I will.

Back to the sister. She is staying with us for the summer. She is kind of on her own at the moment. Taking the summer off so to speak. She is divorced and her kids are all grown and have families of their own. She has been going through a bad breakup for a few years, yes, years now. She is one of these gals that is constantly on the go. Always wanting to do, do, do. It tires me out. The more she wants to go go go, the more I want to do nothing.

I know she thinks I am probably boring but I purposely like to keep the drama at bay. She attracts drama like a bee to honey. You know the type? Something dramatic is ALWAYS coming or going. I don't' mean to sound like I am criticizing. People have a right to their own way of life but she called last night at 9 pm and told me that after Lagoon they had gone to a movie and were about to start another, then they would all sleep at my other sister's house who is about an hour away where they were. Then they would go to Cherry Hill this morning.

I finally got mad. They last time I let her take my son or trusted her to pick him up, he stayed down there for almost a week. Everyday expecting her to bring him home like she said she would yet at the end of the day not showing up.

I feel like she is putting me in a bad place as the bad guy because it makes me look like the party pooper when I say "no". I know my kids are having a great time and I am sure they prefer the fun they are having to being home with the family but school starts on Monday and I have been trying to get them used to going to bed early and getting up earlier.

Jake has to catch the bus at 7 am the the others at 7:30am. Bry was not happy with the news either. ARGGG!! To be honest, I am not too worried about her reading this. I have only one sister who is even remotely interested in reading my blog. I have 5 sisters but none but one read it. That's all I'll say about that.

So, am I making a mountain out of mole hill? I just can't wait for school to start so that there is no time for this kind of thing to happen.

Happy Birthday Seth!

Happy Birthday Seth!!! He's the big "8" today!! What a special age!

We love this boy so much! I hope I have made it clear how much I adore him (to him)! He had his first piano lesson on Monday and loved it! He is a fun and very loving brother.

He is always comforting anyone who gets hurt or who is crying. He loves puzzles and reading and loves to play on the computer.

He loves music but he does not love singing in primary. I have never figured that one out!

He is a vital part of our family and we love him so much!!!!

Bry and I went to the hospital on our date night tonight. Guess who was there at the time. Yep, the birth mom. And funny thing.... as soon as I saw her, all my anger melted away. We sat down and just talked. It was a great visit and we were able to be very honest with each other. She was worried that I had only taken the baby because we had Gabe and didn't really want him. She was relieved to know that we really wanted him and she was really relieved when she had found out he would be with our family.

She really is a very sweet person and I do believe she has a good heart if she can get straightened out.. It wouldn't surprise me if she asked us to keep Gus. I asked her about the name and she said she liked it because of the character named Augustus in Lonesome Dove.

Anyway, I am glad we met up with her and had the chance to talk like we did. I think it will all work out in the end. Sometimes it is hard to accept because we want what we want.

we went out to eat at Ruby Tuesday afterward. Man, what good food.

I saw my baby today. It has been a couple of days since I have been able to go. I hate it when it's like that. I would like to go every day but it just isn't realistic. So I went this morning and noticed that the birth mother had come in to see the baby.

I know it sounds awful but it made me mad. I don't think she is supposed to be able to even see him unsupervised and I just feel like she didn't care about this baby before it was born, could possibly have really screwed him up with her drug use, and now wants the privilege of seeing him. The case worker is out of town so I will have to wait until Monday to talk to her but this bothers me.

She just got out of jail and supposedly has had all rights t0 her kids taken away. The father isn't even supposed to be able to come see him so why can she? AND no one stops her at the hospital. Now she and I became close while I had Gabe and I have never kept her away from him but to be honest, I don't want her to visit Gus. (Yes, that is what she named him. I think it's awful.) Does that sound terrible? I think it does but at the same time, I feel like he is mine and she doesn't deserve him! My feelings may be totally out of line but this is the truth about how I feel about it. I try never to lie. Too often.

So what do you all think of that? Am I going to hell? If I am it will just be another thing to add to my list of many sins. I have baskets and baskets of them!!!!

Anyway, he is now 5 lbs and 8oz. They have taken him off oxygen and he is doing great! He just needs to eat all his meals by bottle before they let me take him! I am getting antsy. I talk to Gabe about him all the time and he doesn't seem too happy about a new baby. I am a little worried. We'll see what happens!

"8" meme

Lisa tagged me to do the 8 unexpected things that happened on our family reunion camp out. I don't think there were 8 things but here goes.

1. Let's see, I found out after the fact that our 3 three year olds filled the slot you pay for your spot with, with water. I don't know how that could happen since they were NEVER out of our sights! Right!

2. Seth actually had more fun playing with his girl cousins than the boys. Granted there are no boy cousins his age but he usually liked tagging around with the big boys in the past.

3. Gabe kept me awake all three nights. (was that really a surprise?)

4. I got along with all my sisters and had no problems with any of them. That is new!

5. My one sister got drunk on the first night I was there. That was a first for me to see. I told her that she had been no fun and that I didn't even recognize who had inhabited her body and that I hoped she didn't do that again and she didn't.


6. Bryan was hardly ever there. Between working and feeding our animals at home, he was pretty much a figment of my imagination. Can't decide if that was a surprise or not.

7. I had ice until the very end. Amazing!

8. The bathrooms were relatively clean. That is always nice.

I tag....Yolanda, Tash, Jewel, Josi, Jen, Mel, Charlotte and Jeri!

We are back. It was a pretty fun camp out. For the most part. The kids had a blast. We grown ups played "Settlers" most of the time. I never slept very good. But that is to be expected for me.

I wish I could write in more detail but too many family member read this! But to sum it all up, it was mostly fun!

Bry and I went and saw the baby last night. He is now 5 lbs. and 3 oz. Doing great.

I think the older us girls(me, and my sisters) get, the more bitchy we become. I don't know if it is old age or just being more set in our ways. I'm not pointing fingers, I am no different really than they are, but it bothers me. I also don't like the fact that I recognize that I tend to be lazy, and compare my situation to theirs. I don't want to feel like a defeatist but I think I am sometimes. Bummer.

All in all, growing up is hard to do. I can't stand being around negative people who complain or gossip all the time and yet, I find myself doing it once in a while. I guess it is all about becoming a better person. As far as becoming a better person, I don't know if I am growing in that direction but at least I recognize my faults. That is a start!

Today I am packing up the camper for my side of the family's camp out. We will only be about 20 minutes from my house! I like that idea! I am trying to phych myself up for it. I don't know why but I am not totally pumped about it.

Maybe I am just tired. I am always a little apprehensive about spending weekends with the fam. You just never know what wonderful and exciting things may happen.

I looks like it may be about a week before the baby gets to come home. I will let you know. I can't wait!!!

Wish me luck this weekend. I am a little hormonal right now and am afraid of myself! I will keep a cool head. I will keep a cool head....I will keep a cool head. This is my mantra.

I just finished Harry Potter. LOVED IT! Loved the whole thing. As someone who is trying to write a book myself, I could see the genius in this story. What I would like to know is how she comes up with such intricate details. I mean, my word, where do these ideas come from? I would love to be able to write like that. It is much trickier than people know.

Anyway, I loved it. I am always sad when it is over. I always look forward to the new book but I think she ended it wonderfully!

So, I visited my baby this morning at 6am! Yes that's right, 6am!! Bry woke me up early and I couldn't go back to sleep so I figured I would just get up and go or I wouldn't be able visit him today. He is doing great! He is 4 lbs, and 13 oz. now. Such a big boy!

Yesterday Bry went with me and we got there in time to give him a bath and then bry fed him. It was beautiful and a really neat day. Church was sooo good. I love those days where you cry clear through the whole thing!

So, that is my day. I am taking the kids swimming today if I can keep my eyes open!

Show Boat!

Charlotte left me free tickets to see showboat last night! She works for the opera company in Logan.

THE SHOW WAS WONDERFUL!!!!! Thank you my dear! I took my sister and niece who are staying with me and a neighbor who never get to do that sort of thing. I had an extra ticket and we were on our way and there she was outside watering her plants when the thought hit me that we should take her!

So I pulled over, jumped out of the car and told her she had 5 minutes to change! She ran in and ran out so excited!

It was a wonderful night and the voices.....oh the voices were.....angelic. Especially the man who sang "Old man river". He ought to make a cd. They were all great though. I want season tickets now!

Thank you again Charlotte. What a rare gift that was!