That explains it!

Well, the verdict is in. We think I have CFS or better known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It would sure explain A LOT! Now there is no real diagnosis for CFS. Its diagnosis comes from ruling out everything else by blood and urine tests. When they find there is nothing wrong with you, and they can't explain the symptoms, your left with CFS.

It' s kind of nice having a name for what I've been feeling for the last 2 or 3 years so I don't have to say, "I'm just tired." or "I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I have dementia at 38." Hello. It also explains the complete exhaustion I feel on a daily basis, the insomnia, weight gain, the irregular joint and muscle pain.

"CFS often follows a cyclical course, alternating between periods of illness and relative well-being. Some patients experience partial or complete remission of symptoms during the course of the illness, but symptoms often reoccur. This pattern of remission and relapse makes CFS especially hard for patients to manage. Patients who are in remission may be tempted to overdo activities when they're feeling better, which can actually cause a relapse."

So, this is the story of the last few years for me. Oh well, we all have our problems. My case isn't too severe I don't think. Anyway, I get through it with the help of my beautiful, little family.

Be careful what you take

What a crazy life I've had the past three weeks. I started taking Ambien on a regular basis. I've really struggled with insomnia for a while and thought this would be a solution.

Well, I have had a strong feeling the last couple of days that I should stop taking it, butvery time I try, I have terrible anxiety during the middle of the night and feel yucky the next day. I got on the computer to research the effects and to find out how long it stays in your system and found that many people have had similar experiences. Those being, anxiety, sleep eating, sleep driving, sleep sex, grogginess, headaches etc...

So, I did not take it last night, determined to get off it. I did not sleep well, had weird dreams, had to leave the hall light on--which I've NEVER done before--and today, I feel terrible. Drugged. Really drugged. I'm not going anywhere or doing anything. Just gonna sit here and veg. until it is out of my system.

Hopefully, I'll be back to myself soon. Ugg.

A good meal

Both of my oldest kids have a day to make dinner. I want them to be smart, able, and independent. Yesterday was Seth, my nine year old's turn. Since I am doing the South Beach Diet again, I have to eat a certain way. Normally, the boys like to make hot dogs or mac and cheese. Yuck.

So, I defrosted the chicken breasts, got out the package of powdered marinade and supervised as Seth and his friend Adam, who was over, read the directions for the marinade and baked the chicken. They were amazed how many times they had to wash their hands when dealing with chicken, but they did great. While the chicken baked, I told Seth he had to make a salad. With a happy heart and gusto, he went to work washing and tearing the red leaf lettuce, cutting up cucumber, pepper, tomatoes and green onions. He did it alone and it was fabulous!

All through dinner, the kids raved about the chicken, and dang! It was good! Seth was on cloud nine. I was so glad I'd had him cook this way. I want him to be confident enough to know that he can make good food, not just fast food. It was a huge self esteem boost for him. I should have had him steam some veggies too, but I was being lazy. Anyway, it was fabulous. What great kids I have!

Hawaii, here I come!

I was feeling hopeless about the prospect of ever losing weight yesterday. It is so much harder than most people realize. Especially for people who've never really had to. I was not raised to be athletic or to have habits of exercise. For the last twenty years, it's been on again, off again with trying to get in shape.

So, yesterday, I made a deal with my husband. If I got down to 150 lbs, then I wanted him to take me to Hawaii. (He has no desire to go there, by the way) He gazed at me, his lips pursed and said, "145."

Deal! I know He said 145 because he knew it would be that much harder, and since it's better to have someone to account to, I will tell you that I weighed myself this morning to start of the process. I'm at 167.8. Ugg. I will use the South Beach Diet as it's the only one that ever works for me. It's just hard to stick to. I had restricting myself. HATE IT!!!

And just to let you know, I was 125 when I got married. I'm 5'8," so 145 isn't inconceivable. I can do it. I know I can.

So, I'm on my way. My guess it that I can do it in about a year, so next year at this time, I will be on my way! I will update you all weekly to my progress. Wish me luck!

Have you seen 'em?

They're here! Those evil, little blood sucking demons from you know where! Yes, the dreaded "no-see-um."

Little gnats that pester and bite, but are invisible to the naked eye! I have seventeen bites just on my neck and chest! That is from one day outside! Yes, folks! ONE DAY!

The nasty bugs come every May and stay for two to four weeks depending on the weather. The first year we lived here, I thought my son had chicken pox! He came in the house covered with red welts all over his body! They itch like the devil and are always there, waiting . . . watching.

I pray for relief!

A good son

I've had a really hard time wanting to work out lately. There's just no motivation there for some reason. My nine year old and I made a pact though. We decided a few weeks ago that we would go running every Saturday morning together.

We couldn't go last week due to the conference, but this morning, he hopped in bed with me at 6:30 fully dressed and ready to go. Now, let me just say, I was NOT in the mood to go for a run o this overcast, slightly rainy morning, but I had promised!

So I pulled myself out of bed, threw on my running clothes and out the door we went. I had not slept well and was surprised at how well we did. We only went two miles and walked part of the time, but I have to say, Seth pushes me to do better. I would not have gone if he hadn't gotten me up. In fact, I'd hoped he'd forget! But he loves this time alone for us. I do too . . . once I'm up, that is.

Thanks Seth. I sure love you, bud!