I'm leaving tomarrow morning for South Dakota! We are going to visit some relatives there for Thanksgiving. I am pretty excited. They live on 1000 acre sheep ranch and have horses and all sorts of fun stuff. It's about a 12 hour drive but we poan to stop and see the sight along the way back.

If I don't get a chnce to write while I am there, Have a happy Thanksgiving! Love to you all!

It's Monday morning and the beginning of a new week! I love it! I love Mondays. Sick as it sounds, but I am a stay at home mom and all I schedual on Mondays is to clean my house after an exciting weekend.

My two sisters and their husbands and kids came for the weekend and it was so much fun! They are my two younger sisters. One is from california and the other is from Farmington, Utah. 45 min away but they both slept over. We took our oldest boys to Harry Potter and the guys watched the "big game".

My sister S. and her husband have gotten into poker. They have a little poker set and wanted to teach us. Well, I like to play cards. We all play canasta, and Phase 10 and other games but I felt a little uncomfortable playing poker just because the prophet said not to. Well, of couse I did anyway, righteous girl that I am, it was fun but we didn't bet real money. we just played with the chips. My sister did want to put a little money in, like a dollor or something but I just couldn't do it. Now I don't think I was going to get addicted to poker any more than I am to "go fish" but I succomed to peer pressure. They all think I am a prude already, not that I really care but it was like 5 to 1 and I lost.

The next day I had my temple recommend interview! Is there anything in my conduct that I feel would make me unworthy to enter the house of the Lord? NOOOOOOO. Anyway, I told my bishop that that is the only thing I have been diobedient in lately! I did pass though and I have another ticket to heaven in my purse.

I love my family so much and I love how we have to learn tolerance for eachother when we have different beliefs! It would be so much easier if we all thought the same but this makes life so much more fun and exciting!

Gratitude

I was just thinking about all the things I am grateful for in my life as I sat down to a computer that is working great today. I can't get over the miracle of a great neighbor who was willing to come over on his day off to work on my computer.

There is another thing I am grateful for and I will get to it in a minute. Let me explain first why I feel this way. Lately, I have been feeling, oh, I don'w know, it is hard to explain. I have felt impatient with my kids, frusterated and irritable. I felt down and angry at myself for not being able to control my temper, this in turn makes me feel like a bad wife and mother which leads to feeling depressed which leads to a messy house. Well, the other day, I was contiplating all of this and I realized, "Oh my gosh! It's November!" Every fall this happens to me. I get what some call "SAD". Some people don't even believe it is real. Just like they don't think PMS is real. Anyway, I used to take Celexa during the winter but this year I really wanted to be drug free. I exercize everyday, I eat really healthy, I try to feed my spirit with good things and yet, this fall, I still have these feelings, which was also depressing. I had vowed I would never use drugs like that again. I have a sister who is in to Scientology and we talk about it alot. Their theory is that antidepressants are just a bandaid and that you need to find the issue which is deeper, resolve it, and you won't have those sad feelings anymore. You know, I believe that too. I believe that the physical and mental are completely connected. I think we make ourselves sick and don't even realize it or why. In this case, I was thinking all this and then I thought, my kids need a happy mom NOW. They don't deserve to wait how ever long it takes me to figure out my psychosis!

I had a full bottle of Celexa in the cupboard that I never used or threw out so I took one. I felt it was the right thing to do. I felt the effect of it almost within a couple of hours. It seems to make me feel calm and I lose that irritation I feel at everything. I feel so good and at peace with with decision. My kids are even responding differently to me. They can tell I guess that I am not going to fly off the handle or something! I actually can let my self loose and play, where before, I don't know. Unless you have felt it, it is really hard to explain. To make this long story short. I am grateful for modern day drugs.

This is a subject that is really difficult for me to talk about or even admit to. It sometimes makes me feel like a failure as a woman to not be able to control my hormones at the snap of my fingers! I know this subject is controversial for some but this is my story today. Thanks for listening. Have a good one.

small miracles

Thank heavens for small miracles! My computer wasn't working right still and I called the guy at the computer place and his suggestion was to completely reinstall windows. I would loose everything and have to start over.

I called Lisa to cry to her and her wonderful husband Paul, was home! He is a computer genious who should really start his own business in computers. He told me that it sounded like a lazy tech who didn't want to take the time to find the problem.

He came over and we went through a bunch of things to find the problem. It wasn't any of those things so he opened the computer, dusted the little parts and cleaned them with alcohol and made sure they were back in tight and turned it on. He put it through the ringer doing a fragmented thing a ma jigger to make sure it was working right and it is working great and faster than ever! I am so happy and I hope that this the end of it!

The thing that really makes me feel good is that I think of the perfect timing of it all. I can't be without my computer,and I can't lose all the info I have on it. My husband runs his business from this computer. The odds that Paul would be home on the very day I had to make this choice with my computer is slim to nothing!!! I believe Heavenly Father gave me a little gift to save me some real heartache. It makes me feel so good that something so cosmically small would be given to little insignificant me. Some people out there may say it was just coincidence and that I am looking for a connection to fuel my beliefs. That's fine. Maybe I am. I don't care what it is. It was a gift to me from someone today!

Well, the latest is this. I had to take my computer back AGAIN today to fix something they did to it while it was there that wasn't right! I could save alot a money if I just learned how to do it myself! I have tried but that is a whole nother story with a tragic ending!

Today is my sweet 10 year olds birthday! 10 Years!!! It is so hard to believe. He is so big and almost wears the same size shoes as me! He is the one in the picture with me on my blog but that was a couple of years ago!

He is so smart and confident and handsome! He talks, talks, talks, talks, talks all the time. It drives my husband crazy! But J is just like me! I totally relate to him. He is so yellow! Do you all know the color test? J just wants to play, play ,play all the time! I am a blue-yellow and know how he feels. I would much rather play first and if there is time, get my work done.

J gets good grades and loves science. I want to thank you for your ideas for help with his teachers. He has 2 teachers. I made up a progress report on the computer and I even called it a "Ninja Report". It has really helped and now we get homework done that before, I didn't even know he had! Yea! It is a real feeling of relief! He doesn't even mind it. At first he was worried that the other kids would notice and think less of him or something but his friends actually think it is cool! Another Yea!

Thank you all so much for your comments and help! I love you all.
Lisa, the guitarist is chris Norman's son in law who lives with them while they are building. I think they are building.