Life is your dance

My friend Tash has this book called “Life is your dance”. It's a kind of a beautiful scrapbook you fill out. These are the questions in it and I loved them so here we go.

LIFE IS YOUR DANCE MEME

1. My favorite music: Music that inspires me! I love to feel energetic and music that makes me feel this way is some of my favorite but I love it all!

2. My favorite song lyrics: “I am no mermaid” and here they are.

   We went down to the edge of the water
   You were afraid to go in.
   You said there might be sharks out there in the ocean
   and I said I'm only goin' for a swim.

I was swimming around in circles
I wasn't always in view
You said we might get into red flag danger
and I am alone when I'm not with you.

CHORUS:

But I am no mermaid! I am not mermaid!
I am no fisherman's slave
I am no mermaid! I am no mermaid!
I keep my head above the waves!

We were swinging from the center of the ceiling.
you were afraid to give in.
I said, “ I know I'll always live for this feelin'”
and you closed your eyes and said “never again!”

I was dancing in the middle of the desert.
you said “we'll burn under the hot sun”.
I said “I'd rather be the color of pleasure
Than watch like you from under the thumb."

CHORUS:
repeat 1^st verse

I love this song because it reminds me to LIVE and not be afraid of life! The music rocks too! It's from the soundtrack of Message in a bottle.

3. Peaceful places: I think my number one peaceful place is in my bath tub, I also feel this way in the mountains and if I want to stay clean, the temple.

4. Peaceful people My cute little, old neighbor Joyce. She is 50 years older than me but seems my age. She makes me feel calm

5. Some of my favorite people I really enjoy my kids. They are so much fun. They are happy and love to play. I really enjoy happy people. They are my favorites!

6. I went looking for beauty and I found Women. I truly believe we are on this earth to make it beautiful. It wasn't until God made Eve that he commanded they go and dress this garden. Ever wondered why? Hello! Women are the cherry on top, the frosting on the cake, the last, best thing.
   

7. If I am not I, who will I be? I can't be who I want to be. I don't want to work that hard. I know these women I admire and they WORK. They make the world better and I am not sure if I am capable of what they do. I don't want to find out and then feel like a failure! That's just the honest truth.

8. Glorious loves of my life -Oh my, The first would be Stephen. I still love him. I still think about him and hope he is happy. We met at SUSC and he was my first real love. Then came a few others here and there but the next one I really loved was Jared. I still love him too. Sometimes I really miss them. I have a hole in my heart where they no longer are. I know he too is married and happy I hope. I met Jared on my mission and wanted to marry him after we came home and dated. and we were very much in love. I was at the temple when I was specifically told I was not supposed to marry him. I broke his heart and he couldn't stay in contact. It was terrible. The next true love was my beautiful Bryan. The rest is history.

9. Parts of the world I would like to explore: I want to go to Europe and I would love to see Africa. I love our earth and really want to see it all.

10. Best memories of home I love to remember the holidays. My mom made them wonderful. I loved sleeping with my little sister and we would tickle each others arms. Actually, she would tickle mine and then I would pretend to be asleep. I remember playing dolls and sitting under the stairs with Gram going through old boxes of memories.

11. Things I love I love baby animals, good books, Thunderstorms, Sunsets, watching horses run, sexy thighs (men's thighs if you please), good music and good food.

12. Where is your quiet place? My quiet place in is my mind. On the coast of Oregon on a white horse. This has always been since I was a small child. I don't know why I created it but I go there when I am afraid or lonely.

13. New ways to show someone I care I don't know. I will have to think about this one.

14. My brightest moments When I am singing I think. I feel happiest when I sing. I hope I was one of the Heavenly Choirs that sang when Christ was born. I was at a Messiah sing-in the other night and when it came the the Halleujia chorus, It was so powerful and wonderful that there are NO words to describe the feelings I had. I want that feeling for the rest of eternity!
    

15. I used to be afraid of... but now... The dark. I used to have the hall light on as a kid. Now, I can't stand to have ANY light showing in the room and that is hard when you have so many electronics in your room! My husband thinks I am a little anal about it and he is probably right!

16. I will keep in touch with So far, I have already failed at this one. I have a hard time keeping in touch it seems.

17. flowers that I like best daisies, daffodils, anything dainty and beautiful. I really love them all but the little ones and the spring ones. I also love lavender.

18. the smartest thing I ever said to myself I am still trying to think of that! I have a few mantras that I say to myself. I like to tell myself that I am a great mom. Hopefully it will be a self fulfilling prophesy!

19. what I like about myself I feel like I am friendly and that I can like pretty much anyone. I have boobs now too and I like that! I was not so well endowed before my kids!

20. my wishes I wish to be able to kneel before God and not be ashamed of myself at the end. I wish for ALL my children to be strong in their testimonies of Christ. This is the truth. My heart breaks for those parents who's kids have chosen a different path. I so hope my kids will be faithful. I am trying my best to teach them but who knows? I also wish to be a marathon runner one day!
    

21. my kindred companions I only have a few really close friends that I tell everything to. You know who your are. I hope it always stays this way. I love you and thank you for loving me even though you know me so well.

New subject. Slightly on the heavy side. Sleepovers. What's your opinion? Last year, My husband and I both decided and agreed that we are not for sleepovers for kids.

I was a kid once and I know what can happen at sleep overs. It's just like they say, the Holy Ghost goes to bed at midnight. Now granted, things happen in broad daylight too but I would say most happens in the dark. Kids are curious and will play nasty sometimes, I am aware of that and it is a choice they make to do. Then there are the times when it is not their choice and would definitely be termed sexual abuse.

I have a dear friend who's son, when he was about 10, went to stay with his dad for a few weeks. That dad had remarried to his ex-sister-in-law. She had 2 kids. So all three kids were cousins and step brothers and sisters. They were all within a few years of each other. Well, one night, this boy was woken up to his cousin doing something VERY bad to him. The 10 year old was mortified and did stop it but was ashamed to tell anyone. He went into a depression, became closed, his grades went down and no one new why. It was 2 years later when this boy and his mom happened to be watching Oprah, and the show was about this very thing, that he said something. Come to find out that the boy who did it too him had had it done to him and so on. These children had something happen to them that they will NEVER be able to forget. It will always be there.

I don't want this for my kids. Yes, it may seem over protective but I would rather they miss out than have to heal the scars for the rest of their lives. I have seem what sexual abuse can do to a person. My mom was abused, my 2 older sisters, my 2 closest friends. It destroys.

The reason it is on my mind is that my little sister wanted our 2 boys to get together Who never see each other much. They are very close. I love her son and he is wonderful and I really don't think anything would happen but we have already made this rule. My sister says she supervises but no one can supervise when they are asleep in their own bed.

Many people feel safer because they say they don't let their children go just anywhere. Do you realize that MOST children are abused by family and close friends? It is seldom someone who is not known well and you can never know. It doesn't matter if a man is a returned missionary, or bishop or priest or whatever. We all know that from the news.

You can't shield your kids from everything, but there are somethings we can do. One of my hero's in life is the mom of one of my best friends. Her name is JoAnn Hibbert-Hamilton. She is kind of famous in the church for being a child advocate. I spent a lot of time at her house as a young teen. She never let her kids have sleepovers and I hated that. I thought she was a prude and over protective. It drove me nuts because there were no such rules at our house. Now I admire her conviction when others ridiculed her. Her kids did have their own struggles but in the end, I think they are all active in the gospel. In my family, out of 9 kids, I am the only one. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I had told my sister that we'd better not. If I say yes here, I have to say yes there. Unless it's a family trip our camp out, the answer is no.

Hey out there. Where is everyone? I guess I need to start visiting YOUR sites once in a while if I want you to visit mine. *smile*

Anyway, I am in a quandry. Ever since I had my IUD taken out, I have been very hormonal. They say it doesn't affect you systemically but I am beginning to disagree. I totally notice a difference.

I am at a crossroads in life. For the last 2 months I have been totally fine about not having any more kids. This month I feel different about it. My sister thinks it just homones and to IGNORE them!!! She thinks I have too much on my plate already and she is right. Yet........

Bryan thinks I want to fill a void. That is true too. I feel like I am a great mom except to my adopted baby who drives me nuts. I feel terrible admitting it but I don't know how to change it. I keep remembering some prophet saying how LDS women will be the only ones willing to have more that 1 or 2 kids in the last days. I almost feel like I am not fulfilling my calling if I don't have more kids. I love my babies and I would love to have another baby, yet, I really don't need the stress and more work that comes with it.

None of my prayers are being answered about it in a way I understand. I have been wanting to give away all my darling baby clothes and things to others who may need them and yet I cannot bring myself to do it! It's making me crazy and it is constantly on my mind, consuming all my thoughts.

I do wonder if it is because it is that time when the hormones are raging. So the question is, how do I know what I should do? I need an angel to come down and advise me.

Bry doesn't want more of course, but he didn't want more after our first so I don't really trust his opinion in that! The reason it's all coming to a head is because I want to get another IUD. I can't stand these hormonal fluctuations, worrying about getting pregnant, and that awful monthly you know what. I had forgotten how awful.

So, poor me. That's my day!

Oh my gosh, everybody!!! I just found out one of my oldest friends is on blogspot now too! She and I were roomies at Southern Utah university! She is wonderful and funny and cute and sooooo talented! She is a great writer and makes it so much fun to be alive! Everyone go visit her and let her have a big welcome to our corner of the web!!! She is at charlottelaughs.blogspot.com.

Anywho, I think I may be done painting for now. I could still do a little more and I need to before Christmas but I am just about all painted out. I don't know if I can lift another roller! I think I may have overdosed a bit!

I am totally ready for Christmas and I love my new dining table. I just bought it. I have always wanted one and always felt it just wasn't a priority. Well, I am having Christmas dinner at my house this year and really want something a little nicer than the old table that has unscruboffable food on it! Actually, it's not that bad but ugly anyway. I'll put a picture on as soon as I can get my lazy but up and take one!

I've missed you all! So sorry I haven't been around. You all make my life so much more wonderful. I love you and I sure hope this season is wonderful for you too!

busy busy

Hi ya'll! I'll give you a brief update. I have almost finished painting my whole upstairs. I don't think I'll even try to tack the the basement. I'm tired. All last week I painted the kitchen. It's pretty big and I still haven't painted behind the fridge. I can't move it! Then I painted Heidi's room. She wanted a pink room and boy is it pink! It is the Pepto bismal room now! But it is growing on me. I have it accented all in white. Very cute. Then I did the living room in 2 colors. Muslin and Balsam beige. I really like it. It is very soft and warm in feeling which is what I was going for.

I have found that I am very picky now as to what I put on my walls. I want a certain look and I have given quite a bit of my old stuff the DI. They just seemed out dated and white trashy. I went shopping at Tai Pan trading company with my sister and bought lots a cute things. Love that place.

We are all battling that flu/cold that is going around. My throat is burning as we speak. Actually it's not my throat. It's more like the nasal passages at the back of my nose. Too much info?

Jake is home from school and Heidi is coughing and so is Gabe. Seth is the only one not sick. Yet. Poor Bryan goes to work everyday for the last week feeling like crap. We got this from that little foster baby we took care of for the week. He ended up going to live with an aunt.

Anyway. I still have two bathrooms and my room to paint. I don't know if I will get to my room. I am tired and there are a lot of heavy things to move in a small space in here. Well, I think I will sit down and fold a batch of laundry while I watch Judging Amy. I love that show. Bye now.