Yes, I am still alive and kicking! My computer was offline for a week! They came and fixed it so Wha La! za girl eez back!

It has been a great week. My sis from Portland came for a visit. I love it when she is here. She helps so much and makes it so much fun! She did my laundry and all sorts of chores and is so easy to be around. Plus she gives me presents! It was my birthday and she is so generous. She gave me a beautiful silk skirt that is flowy and so soft, earings and a necklace that match, a beautiful candle holder of pink tulips. I love that.

The hubby took me to a nice restaurant, and to see Pirates of the Carribean (sp?) and he even came home early to do it. I did threaten him with his life if he didn't start paying a little bit of attention to me. I am so tired of being a single parent but that is another post.

My brother in law painted me a beautiful water color of a morning glory. He is so good and will be famous some day! My Dad didn't call but without my mom around to remind him, he is pretty forgetful! None of my brothers remembered. That really doesn't surprise me. I would be really surprised if they did. None of my sisters missed it though and they are the ones I care most about! Thank heavens for loyal friends and sisters.

It is too freakin hot today and all I have done is veg. and watch tv. Does that make me a boring lazy mother? We did all paint our toenails today though. Even my boys. That was fun. Tey did each toe a different color!

Well, got to go. Can't hear the baby and he is probably detroying something!

Raindrops keep falling on my head

It's Monday morning and I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. If you don't want to keep reading this I totally understand. You can stop right here and feel better for it.

Ever since the 5k race last tuesday, I have been in pain again. Just like old times. I don't know what I did to myself but I am guessing it is from starting too fast and too hard. I wake up so achy it's all I can do to get to the tub for a good long, hot soak. Every day.

Today, after a week of not feeling much better, even after visiting my chiropractor, it sit here almost in tears of the injustice of it! Running is something I want to be able to do. I don't know why it's so stuck in my brain. There are alot of other things I could get hooked on. I know I should be grateful that I have the body I do but when you live in constant pain, even on the good days, you start to go a little insane.

There was a study done that showed that people who have chronic pain actually lose brain cells. It has become a joke between me and my husband. It certainly feels like I am losing brain cells! Anyway, I pray constantly for relief but I am afraid that in this life, I may not get any. It scares me to death. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. But as a wise man once said, there are two choices. You can either get busy living or get busing dying.

I guess I will just keep waddling on.

Food, food, glorious food!

Free Friday has rolled around again and here I sit at my computer on a hot but beautiful day. I bought Digorno pizza for dinner. It's not on my diet and I don't care.

I LOVE to eat. Yes, I am trying to lose weight and be diciplined and I exercize regularly and it doesn't seem to make much difference. That is so frusterating. Our world centers around food and you know what? I like it! I love having food at Enrichment night. I love going to the movies and eating pop corn. I love birthday cake and icecream. I love cream cheese danishes. I love roast beef and mashed potatoes with gravy and I am tired of depriving myself!!!! Today, I am STARVING!!!

I want to have the body I used to have. A body that could eat anything and never gain weight! A body that I didn't even know looked good. There was a time that I did not appreciate when the sky was the limit. As I aged and had kids, the gods decided to play a cruel trick on me. Probably to see if I could stand it! I can't stand it!

The word of wisdom is a toughy. Most LDS folks have no problem with the smoking and drinking bit, but then there is the food! The glorious food! Who doesn't like to eat? How do you tell a meth addict not to do his meth when it is sitting right in front of him! That is how food is to so many people! I don't know if I am addicted to food and I am not fat but I am not super thin either. If there happens to be icecream in my freezer (which seldom happens), if I think about it, I can't NOT have some! Then I think that If we eat it all fast it won't be there anymore!

There was a study done about the difference between fat people and thin people. They found that in people who are overweight, even after they have eaten, their mouths water when shown pictures of food or if it is talked about. Thin people felt full after eating and had no desire for more. No mouth watering! I have thought alot about this and found that I am a mouth waterer! I notice it now! It drives me crazy! It is some chemical thing in the brain! It's not just a lack of self control. How do people with this problem overcome it? Is is like telling someone with schizphrenia (sp?) that they don't need their medication. You can overcome it on your own. ( I am not saying here that a person needs drugs to lose weight). If we prayed real hard would they be cured of their brain malfunction? Could it be the same type of thing with food, drugs, all "addictions"? Are some people predispositioned to be overweight? Yes? Well, does that mean some are predispositioned to be gay or rapists or murderers or drug addicts or what ever?

What a question! Who knows? It could become deep here! All I know is that I love food! How about you?

Happy day after the 4th

What a wonderful holiday! I think the 4th has got to be my very favorite! My day started early because I ran the 5k. I woke up at 5 am! I just couldn't sleep! My stomach was in knots! I have been waiting to run this race agin for 3 years! It has taken my back that long! Now it is just my feet that make it hard!

Anyway, The race started at 7:30 and I have been warned so many times about not starting out too fast. Well, Everyone started out really fast and in my small town that aren't that many runners in the race. Less than 100 probably! So I tried to keep pace so I didn't look slow, which I am and it killed me! I was tired before I had really even started. I quickly fell behind at my own pace while most everybody left me in their dust! There were three of us that kept passing eachother. We kind of stuck together but did not run together. I did have to walk part of the time too.

We ran mostly on a dirt road with beautiful fields on either side. It was so pretty. It was so hot! They need to start it earlier! anyway, to make a long story short, out of 52 women, I came in 41st. Pretty pathetic but at the same time. I felt so good finishing and I finished running! Up hill no less! I thought I would throw up after I crossed the finish line! You want to know the best part? My family wasn't even there! They came 5 min. later! Poor B. had to get the kids ready, feed the animals, the the cart and pony ready for the parade and get them all there! I totally understood but was bummed out none the less that they didn't see me! ALl my friends cheered me on though!

The rest of the day was the parade which was fun, the park, which is always fun! The kids try to catch fish and we eat and play in the water. we were in the pie eating contests. H wouldn't even try to eat hers! she didn't like anyone looking at her!






The rest of the day was the parade which was fun, the park, which is always fun! The kids try to catch fish and we eat and play in the water. we were in the pie eating contests. H wouldn't even try to eat hers! she didn't like anyone looking at her!








J and his best friend won at their age group and each go 5 bucks. I didn't even try to win. I don't have a picture of me and Lisa and our friend during the contest becasue my card on my camera was full by then! ARGGGGG!

The kids looked so cute in the parade. This is the last pic and I am tired! So adios!

I find it facinating that as an adult, I miss out on alot of fun I could be having. Let me tell you why I came to this conclusion.

My 10 yr old is constantly badgering me to go "play" with him. Usually in the hot sun! He had been begging me to go on a bike ride with just him for 2 days. Now, for some of you that may be a simple thing to accomplish, but after getting all the stuff done that I need to and add 4 kids to that, I don't feel like "playing"very often.

I finally promised him we could go in the evening last night after it cooled off if I wasn't too tired. Pretty safe right? NO! At 8:00 I finally admitted it wasn't going to rain, it wasn't too hot, B was home with the others, (it was Sunday after all. He better be home!) So I dragged myself out the door.

My tires were flat which J fixed immediately. The seat was too low and we fixed that too. I had a baby seat on there but we left that.

We road to a pond he had found with his friends up on the mountain side. Took a bunch a dirt roads, had an absolute blast and by the time we got home, I could have turned around and done it all again. I wasn't tired anymore, the tempurature was perfect, the sunset was beautiful and the company was great!

J wants to do it every night and I have to agree. It would be nice. Why is it we let ourselves miss so much because we feel tired or lethargic. Not only was this good for my son but it was great for me. How often have I missed out on the chance to spend time with someone like this? It really made me see how lazy and boring I have become in my old age. Anything worth doing will take some effort but once I was out there, it took no effort at all. I didn't want to stop!

I thank God everday for my son hounding me to get off my rear end and do something. I am so grateful to my children who force me to stay young. Now, there are times when I would like to trade them in, but on the whole, they are fabulous!

My advice today is to get up and do something that takes effort just to see if it turns out to be something wonderful! Happy Trails!